PASTOR. Hurry, my friend. Pull yourself together and try to hold out long enough to tell me at least your principal sins. You needn't mention the lesser ones. TOURIST. What a tragedy? CORRESPONDENT [_writes_]. The criminal, that is, the unhappy man, makes a public confession and does penance. Terrible secrets revealed. He is a bank robber--blew up safes. TOURIST [_credulously_]. The scoundrel. PASTOR [_shouts_]. In the first place, have you killed? Secondly, have you stolen? Thirdly, have you committed adultery? TOURIST. Mary, Jimmie, Katie, Aleck, Charlie, close your ears. CORRESPONDENT [_writing_]. Tremendous excitement in the crowd.--Shouts of indignation. PASTOR [_hurriedly_]. Fourthly, have you blasphemed? Fifthly, have you coveted your neighbor's ass, his ox, his slave, his wife? Sixthly-- PHOTOGRAPHER [_alarmed_]. Ladies and gentlemen, an ass! SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. Where? I can't see it! PHOTOGRAPHER [_calmed_]. I thought I heard it. PASTOR. I congratulate you, my son! I congratulate you! You have made your peace with God. Now you may rest easy--Oh, God, what do I see? The Salvation Army! Policeman, chase them away! [_Enter a Salvation Army band, men and women in uniforms. There are only three instruments, a drum, a violin and a piercingly shrill trumpet._] SALVATION ARMY MAN [_frantically beating his drum and shouting in a nasal voice_]. Brethren and sisters-- PASTOR [_shouting even louder in a still more nasal voice in an effort to drown the other's_]. He has already confessed. Bear witness, ladies and gentlemen, that he has confessed and made his peace with heaven. SALVATION ARMY WOMAN [_climbing on a rock and shrieking_]. I once wandered in the dark just as this sinner and I lived a bad life and was a drunkard, but when the light of truth-- A VOICE. Why, she is drunk now. PASTOR. Policeman, didn't he confess and make his peace with heaven? [_The Salvation Army man continues to beat his drum frantically; the rest begin to drawl a song. Shouts, laughter, whistling. Singing in the café, and calls of "Waiter!" in all languages. The bewildered policemen tear themselves away from the pastor, who is pulling them somewhere; the photographers turn and twist about as if the seats were burning under them. An English lady comes riding in on a donkey, who, stopping suddenly, sprawls out his legs and refuses to go farther, adding his noise to the rest. Gradually the noise subsides. The Salvation Army band solemnly withdraws, and the pastor, waving his hands, follows them._] FIRST ENGLISH TOURIST [_to the other_]. How impolite! This crowd doesn't know how to behave itself. SECOND ENGLISH TOURIST. Come, let's go away from here. FIRST ENGLISH TOURIST. One minute. [_He shouts._] Listen, won't you hurry up and fall? SECOND ENGLISH TOURIST. What are you saying, Sir William?