HELMS. Well, you might at least have been polite.... But you were always a false friend. You never forgave me for having a wife and family while you were a lonely old bachelor. KRAKAU. So--e! HELMS. Don't make that nasty noise! It's true; you know it's true. To this day I remember how angry you were when Andrea was born. For two years you didn't set foot in my house. You said you couldn't bear children about.... But if she had been your own child-- KRAKAU. Can't you talk about anything else? HELMS. And you wouldn't come to my wife's funeral either. I shall never forgive you that, Krakau,--the wife of your best friend--and now you want to smoke though you know I have a weak throat. KRAKAU. Why will you talk like an idiot? Don't you see the pipe is in my pocket. HELMS. Well, you were going to smoke, weren't you? And there's another thing: It never occurred to you to congratulate me when I told you my son-in-law had been made a postal clerk. KRAKAU [_ironically_]. I do congratulate you. But you needn't be so stuck up about it. He's not the only postal inspector in the world. HELMS. Who's stuck up? Not a bit of it! I was thinking of Knut. He'll be better provided for now his father has a good position. Isn't it natural for me to think of Knut's welfare? I am his grandfather. KRAKAU. So--o? HELMS. There you go again with your So--o! My daughter's son is my grandson. Any fool knows that. KRAKAU. Many a fool has believed he was a daughter's father--and wasn't. HELMS. What's that? My daughter...? You are an idiot. KRAKAU. Do you remember what happened to Adam Harbee? HELMS. That has nothing to do with the case. My wife was not that sort of a woman. You'll concede that. KRAKAU. Ye-es. HELMS. Well, then--but what can an innocent old bachelor like you know of such things. KRAKAU. Are you going to talk stuck up again, Helms? HELMS. Sure I will: I am too stuck up to let an ignorant bachelor like you teach me what's what about married life. What do you know about it? Virgin! KRAKAU [_infuriated_]. I'll tell you what I know about it. You are not Andrea's father at all. HELMS [_laughs incredulously_]. Ain't I? Well, if I may take the liberty to ask, who is her father? KRAKAU. That's all right. We'll not talk about it any more. HELMS. Oh yes, we will! Who is her father, if I am not? KRAKAU. That's all right. HELMS. Just empty talk, eh? I might have known it. You just say such things because I owe you seventeen pfennig. KRAKAU. Twenty-seven! I laid out ten for cake last Friday. HELMS. Twenty-seven, then. And that's why you make up these stories to annoy me. KRAKAU.. Have it your way. HELMS [_whimpering_]. Why don't you speak out, then? If I am not Andrea's father, who is? You can't leave it like this. Who is the man you accuse, eh? Was it Axel? KRAKAU [_scornfully_]. No. HELMS. Or Summensen? KRAKAU. Do you suppose Caroline would mix up with a couple of swine like that?