First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
On entering the cottage, the first object that met her eye was the eye
of Edmund. For the first time its expression did not banish every shadow
from her thoughts, did not bring sunshine to her heart. It had never
before had a meaning that she had not felt, at least, (if not exactly
understood,) and felt with a too dangerous consciousness of delight; now
his eye wandered from hers without an answering look. Lady Susan, too,
how extraordinary was her expression! Julia became in one moment, though
she had no time to ask herself why, miserable! entirely miserable! It was
a kind of wretchedness, too, that she had never before even imagined.
It puzzled—it alarmed her. A hopelessness came over her heart, that in
all her grievings over the thoughts of Edmund’s going away, she had
never known. Though she had never formed any other plan but that Edmund
was to be her friend, her brother, she his friend, his sister; this
had all been, while the bare idea of ever being other than the first
in his affections, had not once presented itself to her imagination as
even possible; but now, unaccustomed as she was to analyze subjects
of love and marriage, there was something in the circumstances of the
two conscious beings before her, which seemed obviously to set up a
living, breathing object between herself and Edmund. Why such should be
any obstacle to brotherly and sisterly regard still subsisting between
them, she did not particularly enquire; yet all the stores of love and
happiness that she had been collecting from infancy, seemed now to have
been swept away in one single moment. She continued, however, to hang
on the arm of Lord Arandale, and to answer any direct questions put to
her as well as she could. After examining and admiring the cottage and
grounds, the party at length returned to the gravel-sweep before the
castle.
A curricle, with a gentleman driving, and a lady seated beside him, was
now seen approaching. “Here is Lady Morven at last,” said Lord Arandale,
letting go Julia’s arm, and advancing towards the new arrival.
“Matilda, I declare!” cried Lady Susan, hastening forward with her
brother, who, on their return from the cottage, had, in a very marked
manner, insisted on her taking his second arm. Edmund, who had walked
in silence on the other side of Julia, pondering partly on her altered
manner, and partly on his own late adventure; when Lord Arandale withdrew
his support, took up her hand, softly, and drew it over his arm;
bending forward, at the same time, as if anxious to catch a view of her
countenance. She kept her head, however, carefully turned in a contrary
direction, and the moment they reached the steps, without speaking or
looking round, withdrew her arm, glided away, and hurried up to her own
room. Yet, such is the weakness of the heart that loves, that she had
felt less unhappy during the few seconds her arm had rested on that of
Edmund.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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