First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
It must have been, thought Edmund, the imprudence with which I last
night betrayed my feelings, which has thus, upon serious consideration,
offended her; though, at the time, she did not, certainly, show
displeasure. And he sighed heavily. She now raised her eyes, with
involuntary quickness, to his face. She had never seen so much
unhappiness there. She looked at him, for the space of a second, with a
mingled expression of surprise and tenderness, which he could in no way
comprehend. Edmund stooped, and, on pretence of looking over her shoulder
out of a window facing which she stood, he whispered softly:—“I see,
Julia, that the presumption of my manner, last night, has offended you;
justly, I allow; but have some compassion for an involuntary error! Some
pity for—for——” The low and hurried accents of Edmund; the confused state
of Julia’s own feelings; the busy voices of the rest of the party; all
prevented her hearing more than a few occasional words, from which she
collected, only, that Edmund saw her change of manner, and sought to know
the cause. This, of course, she could not explain. “Soon, I must return
to sea,” he continued, finding he could obtain neither look nor word;
“for what foreign station, or for how many years, I know not! Possibly,
I may never see you again, Julia. Do not, then, by a resentment so
determined, so unforgiving, embitter the few short moments to which I
would fondly cling, as the only solace of my solitary, and hopeless
existence!” This last sentence, which, from the growing warmth of his
manner, was uttered in a somewhat more audible tone than the rest, was
all that Julia had distinctly heard.
“Your solitary and hopeless existence, Edmund!” she exclaimed, with a
look and voice of astonishment.
“Yes, Julia; such feelings as mine must be hopeless! it is the only
apology that can be made for their presumption.”
“Lord Arandale has refused his consent,” thought Julia, “and shall I
add to his evident affliction? I imagined him perfectly happy! and that
he had found means to be so, independent of all his first friends; or
I could never have been so unkind to him.” At the conclusion of this
reflection, she looked up with an expression that, for a moment, almost
restored him to happiness.
The company were now filing off, on their way down to the carriages.
Edmund and Julia were the last in the room. She paused, gave him her
hand, and said:—“I once promised you to be always your friend! I
renew that promise now; and I know I can also answer for the unshaken
continuance of Frances’s kind regard. Will this, in any degree, console
you, Edmund, under those mortified and disappointed feelings, of which
you speak so bitterly?” And she spoke a little bitterly herself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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