First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
At this moment, the rest of the party came in sight at some distance;
and Edmund, as if fearful of interruption, turned suddenly round, and,
in hurried and agitated accents, said, “Julia! you permit me to feel for
you the affection of a brother! you permit me, you say, to evince that
feeling by care of your welfare, your safety, your happiness. Should I
ever be so unfortunate as to extend to what may seem presumption on your
goodness, the dear, the sacred privilege—check—but do not, do not utterly
condemn me!”
He paused a moment for breath, then, with effort, recommenced thus:
“Your family is the home of all my affections! Could it be—should it
be otherwise? Yet, in cherishing those affections, so natural, in my
circumstances, so inextinguishable, there may occur moments when I may be
tempted to forget that I myself stand alone, must ever stand alone, an
unconnected, a nameless stranger!”
Here the joining of the party as they came up, laughing and recounting
Lord Borrowdale’s adventure, put an end to this dangerous conference.
Its results, however, coloured the future destinies of both the young
people. If Edmund had previously formed safer resolves, they were now
lost in the belief that Julia was in no danger of discovering in him, or
sharing herself any sentiments, exceeding the bounds of that friendship
which it was, (under the circumstance,) but right and natural should
subsist between them; while any deficiency (he argued with himself) in
the manifestation of brotherly regard on his part, would require the
very explanation it was his duty not to make. He must, therefore, shew
her every silent, unpretending, affectionate attention; every mark of
brotherly regard; while his own imprudent passion must lie for ever
buried in his own bosom!
He must indeed correct its mad and wild intensity! The habit of being in
her society, would, he hoped, assist him to do so! would moderate the
extraordinary effect that society now had upon him! would enable him
to sober down his feelings into those of a truly affectionate brother,
really solicitous for the welfare of a sister he sincerely loves.
CHAPTER II.
“Sudden was the trembling joy
Of my soul, when mine eyes, lifted to seek
The bounding deer, have met thy secret gaze,
Mighty king, fairest among thy thousands!”
The interview described in the concluding pages of our last chapter,
re-established, though certainly on very mistaken grounds, a kind of
confidence between our hero and her who had ever been the darling of his
childhood; banishing the momentary estrangement to which the first birth
of a still fonder attachment had given rise.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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