First Love: A Novel. Vol. 3 of 3Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
First Love: A Novel. Vol. 3 of 3
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
She returned the pressure of his hand without affectation of reserve; but
without the power to speak. “Heavens,” he continued, after a short pause,
“that horrible certainty in which every sense has been spell-bound for
the last twelve months of wretchedness, was then but a dream! Oh, Julia,
how gladly do I awake from it!” Their eyes met as he spoke; nor were hers
immediately withdrawn, though their lids trembled beneath the ardour of
his gaze. The Julia and Edmund of former days seemed suddenly restored to
each other after a long, long separation: each seemed to read the heart
of the other, each wondered that they could have doubted the truth of
the other. Both had been silent for some time. “Julia,” said Fitz-Ullin,
at length, in a low, entreating voice, recollecting, though it must be
confessed, without much alarm, that Julia, though she had denied having
rejected him, had not yet said one word about accepting him, “how can
I trust to the presumptuous hopes with which my heart now throbs—how
can I dare to be thus happy till you have pronounced my fate, till you
have actually said that you will be mine!” Julia replied only by a look.
“I may then,” said Fitz-Ullin, in a low whisper, “speak to Lord L⸺, as
authorised by you?”
Julia breathed a very inaudible sort of a yes; and Fitz-Ullin, who, to
hear the important monosyllable, had been obliged to venture his face
into a very dangerous neighbourhood, expressed his delighted gratitude by
as many demonstrations of the feelings that said little word of mighty
consequences had inspired, as he dare well evince; but, as to what
exactly he said or did on the occasion, it is by no means necessary to
the development of our narrative to record.
Julia no longer venturing to look up, her eyes rested, as a sort of
excuse for looking down, on the open letter, which, having escaped from
Fitz-Ullin’s hand, now lay on her knee. As she dwelt on the expressions
it contained of passionate tenderness dictated by the pure enthusiasm
of a First Love, the harrowing descriptions of poor Edmund’s struggles
with his own heart, while he had believed himself an obscure and nameless
being altogether unworthy of her, her tears flowed silently, except that
such was the stillness of all else, that the fall of each on the paper
might be distinctly heard. Fitz-Ullin watched her with inexpressible
delight, fearing to breathe, lest he should interrupt her. At length,
tempted by the tear, or the smile, or both, to see what parts of his
letter so much affected her, he approached his face nearer the paper,
(for he was still kneeling,) and read with her, adding emphasis to each
tender expression by a gentle pressure of one, or both the hands he still
held.
“When did you write this letter, Edmund?” she at length asked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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