First Love: A Novel. Vol. 3 of 3Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
First Love: A Novel. Vol. 3 of 3
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
“Oh! whence is the stream of years, and whither
Doth it roll along, when it carries with it
All our joys?”
A few days more brought a letter from Edmund, addressed to Mrs.
Montgomery; now it was hoped all would be explained; Mrs. Montgomery
broke the seal, laid the letter open on her knee, took out her
spectacles, wiped them, and put them on. But soon tears dimmed the
glasses, and the old lady’s head shook a little, as on occasions of deep
emotion. “What can he mean?” she said, as she gave the letter to Julia,
desiring her to read it aloud. Julia, on receiving it, turned extremely
pale. As soon as her eyes ran over the first few lines, she trembled
visibly, and cast a beseeching look at her sister.
Frances took the letter from her, saying, that she could read Edmund’s
hand particularly well. She began, like the rest, by looking over the
letter to herself. Soon tears were seen stealing over her cheeks, as she
read on, while from time to time she exclaimed, “What can he mean? What
can have happened?”
“Read aloud, my dear! Do pray read aloud!” said Mrs. Montgomery. And
Frances, endeavouring to keep down the choking sensation that arose in
her throat, commenced as follows:—
“I must, for a time at least, bid farewell to all; yes, even to her,
who sheltered my infant head; who protected my infant years; who was my
friend when I was friendless; who gave me bread when I was destitute.
But I cannot—no—I cannot see Lodore again! Lodore, that home of happy
childhood!
“At such a crisis of my fate, there is much I ought to say to one so
dear—one so generously interested in the wretched Edmund; but, at
present, I am incapable of a rational recital.
“At a future time, perhaps—but I wander—you have doubtless seen all,
ere this, in the public prints. Yet, surely they were not the proper
medium—Pardon me; I know not what I write—the blow has indeed been severe!
“Perhaps I deserve it all; to have hoped was madness! treachery! Yet,
I did hope! Yes—or why my present despair? Yet was it a hope so
mingled with fear and with remorse, that it was torture! Yet it was
hope!—Heavens! must I believe it? Was it all a dream! a delirium! Was
there nothing real? Or is friendship, then, so like love? No! within my
own breast, how wide the wild distinction!
“Why then was I deceived? Oh, farewell! I go, I know not where.—But I
leave England—perhaps, for ever! Yet, think me not ungrateful! Think not,
that the fondest affections of my blighted heart, withered and worthless
though they be, shall not for ever cling to the remembrance of the dear,
dear friends, the ever to be beloved, respected, and revered benefactress
of my infant years. Your unhappy Edmund.”
The letter bore no further signature; as was habitual with our hero,
from a painful consciousness that his second name was but borrowed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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