So another week elapsed, and a third began. My master's life no longer
stood in any danger, and his health and strength slowly but steadily
improved. Sir Charles Venner still paid him daily visits, but they were
more to satisfy the claims of friendship than of need. The great
surgeon had always a smile and kindly word for me. It seemed that his
suspicions had long ago been utterly eradicated, and that a liking had
usurped their place. Sometimes I wondered if his penetrating insight
had remarked my love for Marion. But he was far too profound an enigma
for me to solve; and in any case Marion engrossed my life and mind so
utterly that I had neither room nor inclination for any other problem.
A sort of madness had come over me. Apart from her I dreamed; standing,
sitting, or reclining as the case might be, idle and immovable as
stone. I awoke to look upon her face, or listen to her voice, on
instant a creature of pulsating passion; yet her humble and devoted
slave, responding to her slightest will, as swiftly and obediently as a
needle to the pole. And slowly but surely hope grew stronger in my
breast. A thin wild hope it was at first, the veritable offspring of
despair. But fostered by my passion and her wayward moods, it developed
force and form, and I could at last no more deny it place in my
imaginings. I hoped to win her. Yes; I hoped to win her! There were
times when I forgot the gulf dug between us by her purity and my too
criminal unworthiness, and I remembered only that she was a woman and I
a man. The law of sex is hard to supersede. It recognizes neither
morals nor conventions. It despises ethical distinctions, and it laughs
with love at every human effort to confine its boundaries. At its
command I began not only to hope, but to aspire. One morning Marion
came to me and said: "Monsieur, Sir Charles Venner, who has just
departed, has ordered me to take a holiday to-morrow. He says that I am
looking pale, and that I need a little open air and sunshine. I think
that he is wise, and I shall comply with his command!"
"But," I stammered, for the thought of losing her even for a day was a
torture hardly to be borne, "what of Sir William Dagmar? How will he
get on without you?"
"Sir Charles has promised to send another nurse this evening, who will
take my place."
"I trust, mademoiselle, that you--that you will enjoy yourself," I
muttered in a trembling voice. "The house will be dull without you,
though--for me."
She gave me a swift, shy glance, then cast down her eyes, folding and
unfolding her hands before her.
"How could I enjoy myself--do you think--alone?" she whispered. "It
will be a sad day also for me."
"Let me go with you," I blurted out. "I am not needed here. Ah! I am
mad to dream that you would condescend so far. Forgive me of your pity,
and forget the insolence of my presumption!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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