TOMMY. No, no; you're thinking of the fifth, where I topped my drive into the pond. WENTWORTH. I knew the pond came into it somewhere. I hoped--I mean I thought you fell in. TOMMY. Look here, you _must_ remember the eighth, old chap; that was the one I did in one. Awful bit of luck. WENTWORTH. Bit of luck for me too, Tommy. TOMMY. Why? WENTWORTH. Because now you can hurry on to the ninth. TOMMY. I say, Wentworth, I thought you were keen on golf. WENTWORTH. Only on my own. TOMMY. You're a fraud. Here I've been absolutely wasting my precious time on you and--I suppose it wouldn't even interest you to hear that Gerald went round in seventy-two--five under bogey? WENTWORTH. It would interest me much more to hear something about this girl he's engaged to. TOMMY. Pamela Carey? Oh, she's an absolute ripper. WENTWORTH. Yes, but you've said that of every girl you've met. TOMMY. Well, dash it! you don't expect me to describe what she looks like, do you? WENTWORTH. Well, no. I shall see that for myself directly. One gets introduced, you know, Tommy. It isn't as though I were meeting her at Charing Cross Station for the first time. But who is she? TOMMY. Well, she was poor old Bob's friend originally. He brought her down here, but, of course, as soon as she saw Gerald-- WENTWORTH (quickly). Why, _poor_ old Bob? TOMMY. I don't know; everybody seems to call him that. After all, he isn't quite like Gerald, is he? WENTWORTH. Paderewski isn't quite like Tommy Todd, but I don't say "poor old Paderewski"--nor "poor old Tommy," if it comes to that. TOMMY. Well, hang it, old man, there's a bit of a difference. Paderewski and I--well, I mean we don't compete. WENTWORTH. Oh, I don't know. I daresay he's as rotten at golf as you, if the truth were really known. TOMMY. No, but seriously, it's a bit different when you get two brothers like Gerald and Bob; and whatever the elder one does, the younger one does a jolly sight better. Now Paderewski and I-- WENTWORTH. Good heavens! I wish I hadn't started you on that. Get back to Bob. I thought Bob was on the Stock Exchange and Gerald in the Foreign Office. There can't be very much competition between them there. TOMMY. Well, but there you are! Why isn't Bob in the Foreign Office and Gerald on the Stock Exchange? Why, because Gerald's the clever one, Gerald's the popular one, the good-looking one, the lucky one, the county cricketer, the plus three at golf-- WENTWORTH. Oh Lord! I thought you'd get golf into it. I suppose you were working up to your climax. Poor old Bob is about eighteen at golf, eh? TOMMY. As a matter of fact, he's a very decent five. And there you are again. In any other family, Bob would be thought rather a nut. As it is-- WENTWORTH. As it is, Tommy, there are about thirty-five million people in England who've never played golf and who would recognize Bob, if they met him, for the decent English gentleman that he is.