TOMMY. Good old Gerald! I never knew such a chap. You really _are_! GERALD (softly). I wish I weren't, Tommy! Oh, I wish I weren't! (They don't hear him; they are still buzzing.) THE BOY COMES HOME A COMEDY IN ONE ACT CHARACTERS. UNCLE JAMES. AUNT EMILY. PHILIP. MARY. MRS. HIGGINS. This play was first produced by Mr. Owen Nares at the Victoria Palace Theatre on September 9,1918, with the following cast: Philip--OWEN NARES. Uncle James--TOM REYNOLDS. Aunt Emily--DOROTHY RADFORD. Mary--ADAH DICK. Mrs. Higgins--RACHEL DE SOLLA. [SCENE.--A room in UNCLE JAMES'S house in the Cromwell Road.] [TIME.--The day after the War.] [Any room in UNCLE JAMES'S house is furnished in heavy mid-Victorian style; this particular morning-room is perhaps solider and more respectable even than the others, from the heavy table in the middle of it to the heavy engravings on the walls. There are two doors to it. The one at the back opens into the hall, the one at the side into the dining-room.] [PHILIP comes from the hall and goes into the dining-room. Apparently he finds nothing there, for he returns to the morning-room, looks about him for a moment and then rings the bell. It is ten o'clock, and he wants his breakfast. He picks up the paper, and sits in a heavy armchair in front of the fire--a pleasant-looking well-built person of twenty-three, with an air of decisiveness about him. MARY, the parlour-maid, comes in.] MARY. Did you ring, Master Philip? PHILIP (absently). Yes; I want some breakfast, please, Mary. MARY (coldly). Breakfast has been cleared away an hour ago. PHILIP. Exactly. That's why I rang. You can boil me a couple of eggs or something. And coffee, not tea. MARY. I'm sure I don't know what Mrs. Higgins will say? PHILIP (getting up). Who is Mrs. Higgins? MARY. The cook. And she's not used to being put about like this. PHILIP. Do you think she'll say something? MARY. I don't know _what_ she'll say. PHILIP. You needn't tell me, you know, if you don't want to. Anyway, I don't suppose it will shock me. One gets used to it in the Army. (He smiles pleasantly at her.) MARY. Well, I'll do what I can, sir. But breakfast at eight sharp is the master's rule, just as it used to be before you went away to the war. PHILIP. Before I went away to the war I did a lot of silly things. Don't drag them up now. (More curtly) Two eggs, and if there's a ham bring that along too. (He turns away.) MARY (doubtfully, as she prepares to go). Well, I'm sure I don't know what Mrs. Higgins will say. [Exit MARY.] (As she goes out she makes way for AUNT EMILY to come in, a kind-hearted mid-Victorian lady who has never had any desire for the vote.) EMILY. There you are, Philip! Good-morning, dear. Did you sleep well? PHILIP. Rather; splendidly, thanks, Aunt Emily. How are you? (He kisses her.)