Betrothal -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“I don’t know.” She was honestly puzzled. “I’m not bad, I know. But
you—you imagine a lot.” And then, consolingly, “I shouldn’t worry. You
just see—in ten years you’ll be at the top. I’m sure of it. But I shall
fizzle out. I’m bored with it already—this medium, anyhow. Oh, don’t you
see?” She followed up her thoughts as, exploring, one follows strange
footfalls in the dark of a passage—“Don’t you feel what the difference
is? You—a man—a man has got to put himself into only one thing, painting
or music or whatever it is. But a girl can put herself into whatever
happens along. He has a gift for painting. She has just a gift. Oh,
don’t you see? Isn’t it interesting? I never thought of it before.
That’s the difference between men and women. You’re born craftsmen; but
we—it’s not the craft we care about. It’s just something in us—the
religion, as you say—that’s got to get out somewhere—anywhere. We could
be just as religious over cooking a dinner.”
Oliver writhed.
“Oh, but we could. Look here—I’m doing this for my grandfather. He’s
never been able to afford to come to Italy. So it’s got to be good—to
please him. If I did it like yours, to be sold, without knowing to whom
it was going—well, I couldn’t do it. It wouldn’t be worth doing for its
own sake. I shouldn’t enjoy it. You can’t understand that, can you?
That’s because you’re an artist and I’m not, and never shall be,
religion or no religion.”
Her brilliant face was very close to his as she sat and talked to him
over her shoulder: she always lit up like a little Christmas tree when
she was excited. He thought, with a touch of heady self-congratulation,
that she had never talked to him like this before (forgetting how little
chance he usually gave her). He did not realize how impersonal were her
speculations, he marvelled merely that she should be so charming to him.
“There must be some reason!” cried his eager vanity.
“Religion?” He hesitated, smiling. “I believe I know a better word.”
She questioned him with a movement of her head.
“Love.” He wondered how she would take it.
“Why—” she began doubtfully, “why, of course——” And then, “Oh, Oliver, I
believe you’re perfectly right!”
She laughed abstractedly, fingering her chalks. The suggestion had taken
her fancy. It cleared up a hundred-and-one points for her. It explained
so many failures and successes. Why, of course.... it was not the brains
... it was the being fond of people that counted, that made you able to
do things, to look pretty, to be tidy, and paint, and get on with
irritating people, like Oliver and Aunt Adela ... because you did it to
please some one you were fond of.... It must be ghastly not to be fond
of any one ... one would miss such a lot.... Oliver, for instance, was
quite decent really, when you got to know him ... but she would never
have bothered if it hadn’t been to please Justin ... a shame.... Poor
Oliver!...
And so ended, a little guiltily, by smiling up at him.
And then, you know, he kissed her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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