WALTER. [_Chuckling hugely._] He didn't give the lover much chance to stand up to him, did he? BETTY. And _wasn't_ he original! Dog, hound, villain, traitor! WALTER. To say nothing of Jezebel! Though, between ourselves, I think he meant Messalina! BETTY. And I was to go into the street. But he did let me fill my bag! WALTER. I think the playwrights come out on top, I do indeed. [_He goes to_ HECTOR, _and stands to left of him._] Hector, old chap, here's the letter! BETTY. [_Going to the other side of_ HECTOR, _and dropping a low curtsey._] And please, Mr. Husband, was it to be a big bag, or a small bag, and might I have taken the silver teapot? [HECTOR _has been standing there stupid, dazed, dumbfounded, too bewildered for his mind to act or thoughts to come to him; he suddenly bursts into a roar of Titanic, overwhelming laughter. He laughs, and laughs, staggers to the sofa, falls on it, rocks and roars till the tears roll down his cheeks. He sways from side to side, unable to control himself--his laughter is so colossal that the infection catches the others; theirs becomes genuine too._ BETTY. [_With difficulty, trying to control herself._] The letter! Old Gillingham! "His name, scoundrel, his name!" WALTER. [_Gurgling._] With his hand at my throat! Sit there, villain, and write! BETTY. "I'll deal with _you_ presently! Wait till I've finished with _him!_" WALTER. "Into the street!" At least, they _do_ usually say "into the night!" HECTOR. [_Rubbing his eyes and panting for breath._] Oh, you pair of blackguards! Too bad--no, really too bad! It was! I fell in, I did! Oh, Lord, oh, Lord, what a nightmare! But it wasn't right, really it wasn't--no really! My Lord, how I floundered--head and shoulders-- swallowed it all! Comes of reading that muck every day--never stopped to think! I didn't! Walter, old chap! [_He holds out his hand._] Betty! My poor Betty! [_He draws her towards him._] The things I said to you! BETTY. [_Carelessly eluding the caress._] At least admit that you're rather hard on the playwriting people! HECTOR. [_Getting up and shaking himself._] Oh, they be blowed! Well, you _have_ had a game with me! [_He shakes himself again._] Brrrrr! Oh, my Lord! What I went through! BETTY. It _was_ a lark! you should have seen yourself! Your eyes starting out of your head! You looked like a murderer! HECTOR. By Jove, and I felt it! For two pins I'd have-- BETTY. And Mary Gillingham! _That's_ the funniest part! That you could have thought _he_ was engaged--to _her!_ [_Involuntarily the smile dies away on_ WALTER'S _face; he turns and stares at her; she goes on calmly._ BETTY. When she happens to be the one girl in this world he can't stand! WALTER. [_With a movement that he can't control._] Betty!