SIR GEOFFREY. [_Springing up with a flourish._] How very remiss of me! Permit me. Gertrude this is Geoffrey. You have often heard me speak of him. LADY TORMINSTER. [_Rising._] I think I'll go to bed. SIR GEOFFREY. Now that is preposterous. Jack, my dear old friend--the best and only friend I have in the world--is slumbering peacefully upstairs, and Jack's wife is reluctant to talk to Jack's old pal because the sun happens to be hidden on the other side of the globe. Lady Torminster, sit down. If you're good you shall have a cigarette. LADY TORMINSTER. [_Sitting._] Well, just one. And when I've finished it, I'll go. SIR GEOFFREY. Agreed. [_He hands her the box; she takes a cigarette; he strikes a match and holds it for her; he then takes a cigarette himself, and lights it._ SIR GEOFFREY. And, while smoking it, remember Penelope's web. For I've heaps of things to tell you. LADY TORMINSTER. They'll keep till to-morrow. SIR GEOFFREY. That's a fearful delusion. Nothing keeps. There is one law in the universe: NOW. LADY TORMINSTER. I want to know what you mean by this nonsense about your going. SIR GEOFFREY. [_Puffing out smoke._] Yes--I'm off in the morning. It has occurred to me that I haven't been to China. Now that is a serious omission. How can I face my forefathers, and confess to them that I haven't seen the land where the Yellow Labour comes from? LADY TORMINSTER. China has waited a long time--a month more or less will make no difference. They are a patient race. SIR GEOFFREY. There is gipsy blood in my veins--I must wander--I'm restless.... Not like Jack--he's untroubled--he can sleep. Jack's a fine sleeper, isn't he? LADY TORMINSTER. Yes. SIR GEOFFREY. Calm, serene, untroubled, with the conscience of a babe--one, two, three, he sleeps. He and I have had some rare times together. I've been roped to him on the Andes--he shot a tiger that was about to scrunch me--I rubbed his nose when it was frost-bitten. He saved my life--I saved his nose. I always maintain that the balance of gratitude is on his side--for where would he have been without his nose? LADY TORMINSTER. You _are_ absurd. SIR GEOFFREY. Would you have married him without a nose? LADY TORMINSTER. I might have. SIR GEOFFREY. Now you know you wouldn't. You'd have been afraid of what people would say. And what would he have done when he became short-sighted, and had to wear glasses? LADY TORMINSTER. My cigarette has gone out. SIR GEOFFREY. [_Jumping up and handing her the box._] Take another. Never re-light a cigarette--it's like dragging up the past. Here. LADY TORMINSTER. I said only one. SIR GEOFFREY. This is not the hour for inflexibility. The Medes and Persians have all gone to bed. [_She takes the cigarette; he lights it for her._ LADY TORMINSTER. Tell me why you mean to leave us. And remember--I shan't let _this_ one go out. SIR GEOFFREY. My explanation will be handed to you with your cup of tea in the morning.