LADY TORMINSTER. I am saying the things a woman says once in a lifetime, and feels all her life. Oh, it was all so simple! You loved me--you ... were blind because of Jack ... And I married Jack ... I mustn't complain ... I am one of the hundreds of women who marry--Jacks. SIR GEOFFREY. A better, finer man never lived. LADY TORMINSTER. I dare say--in fact, I am sure. But you should see us when we are alone, sitting there night after night, with never a word to say to each other! You tell me you're tired of polo, and golf, and bridge. Well, how about me? And need you be scowling so fiercely, and begrudge me my one little wail, you who are going away? SIR GEOFFREY. [_Angrily._] Yes, I am going away, and I shall marry a Chinese. I shall marry the first Chinese woman I meet. LADY TORMINSTER. This is very sudden. Why? SIR GEOFFREY. Because, at least, not knowing the language, she won't be able to say unkind things about me to my friends. LADY TORMINSTER. [_Her chin on her hand, looking squarely at him._] Geoffrey, _is_ Jack a bore? SIR GEOFFREY. He never bores me. LADY TORMINSTER. That's because he shot your tiger, and you rubbed his nose. Besides, you talk about horses, and so on. And yet I heard him, for a solid hour, telling you about a rubber he lost at bridge through his partner making diamonds trumps when he should have made spades. SIR GEOFFREY. He's not clever, of course--and you are. But still! Is cleverness everything? LADY TORMINSTER. Haven't I told you he's the very best fellow in all the world? And do you think I'm posing, pretending that I'm misunderstood, and the rest? You know me better. I am indulging, for once, in the luxury of absolute candour. SIR GEOFFREY. You loved him-- LADY TORMINSTER. Of course I loved him--and I love him now. SIR GEOFFREY. [_Triumphantly._] You see! LADY TORMINSTER. If we women had had a hand in the making of the language, how many words there would be to express our feelings towards the men we are fond of! Of course I love Jack. I'm cruel to him sometimes; and there comes a look into his eyes--he has dog's eyes, you know--a faithful Newfoundland-- SIR GEOFFREY. [_Very earnestly._] I don't think women quite realise what friendship means to a man. LADY TORMINSTER. I am certain that men don't realise what marriage means to a woman! Dear funeral, am I not a good wife--shall I not remain a good wife, till the end of the chapter? Because there isn't only Jack--there are Jack's children. SIR GEOFFREY. Yes. LADY TORMINSTER. And isn't it wonderful, when you think of it--here are we two, Jack's friend and his wife, alone on a desert island--and we have confessed our love for each other, and we are able to discuss it as calmly as though it were rheumatism! SIR GEOFFREY. [_With a groan._] If only I hadn't induced you to stay! LADY TORMINSTER. [_Smiling._] My dear friend, you didn't! SIR GEOFFREY. [_Amazed._] I didn't? LADY TORMINSTER. Why no--of course not. I knew you were going to-morrow.