The lady of the feathers rarely failed to join the evening flight of the
bats. Her acquaintance with Julian, even her curious passion for his
respect and distant treatment, had not won her to different evenings, or
to a new mode of life. But her feeling for Julian led her to ignore now
the fact of this fate of hers. She chose to set him aside from it, to
keep him for a friend, as an innocent peasant-girl might keep some
recluse wandering after peace into her solitude. Julian was to be the
one man who looked on her with quiet, habitual eyes, who touched her
with calm, gentle hand, who spoke to her with the voice of friendship,
demanding nothing, and thought of her with a feeling that was neither
greed nor contempt. And that one fatal night in which Cuckoo's private
and secluded heart was so bitterly wounded she put out of her
recollection with a strength of determination soldier-like and almost
fierce. It lay in the past, but she did not treat the past as a woman
treats a drawer full of old, used things, opening it in quiet moments
and turning over its contents with a lingering and a loving hand. She
shut it, locked it almost angrily, and never, never looked into it.
Julian was to be her friend of leisure, never associated in any way with
her tragic hours. All other men were the same, stamped with a similar
hall-mark. He only was unstamped and was beautiful.
On this evening of summer, Cuckoo, as usual, joined the flight of the
bats with a tired wing. The heat tried her. Her cheeks were white as
ivory under their cloud of rouge. Her mouth was more plaintive even than
usual, and her heart felt dull and heavy. As she got out of the omnibus
at the Circus one of her ankles turned, and she gave an awkward jump that
set all the feathers on her hat in commotion, and made the newspaper boys
laugh at her scornfully. They knew her by sight, and joked her every
evening when she arrived. At first--that was a long while ago--she had
resented their remarks, still more their shrewd unboyish questions, and
had answered them with angry bitterness. But--well, that was a long while
ago. Now she simply recovered her footing, paused a moment on the
kerbstone to arrange her dress, and then drifted away into the crowd
slowly, without even glancing at her nightly critics, who were aware of
a new bow on her gown, recognized with imperturbable _sang-froid_ the
change in a trimming or the alteration of a waist-belt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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