Slowly she walked along. Piccadilly bats fly slowly. The moon went up.
She had not met her fate. In the throng she saw Valentine pass. He looked
at her with a smile. She turned her eyes hastily away. She had met him on
several evenings of late, but had never told Julian so, for she began to
understand now his reverence for Valentine, and a new-born, ladylike
instinct taught her not to hurt that reverence. Valentine disappeared.
He had not tried to speak with her. Once, on encountering her, he had
paused, but Cuckoo glided behind two large Frenchwomen and escaped with
the adroitness of a snake in the grass. Apparently he recognized her
movement as one of retreat, and was resolved to leave her alone, for he
had never followed her since that day, although he always lifted his hat
when he saw her. The crowd grew thicker. It was very heterogeneous, but
Cuckoo did not thread it with the attention of a psychologist, or examine
it with the pains of a philosopher of the dark hours. She stared
listlessly at the faces of the men, and if they stared back at her,
smiled mechanically with a thin and stereotyped coquetry, moving on
vacantly the while in a sort of dream, such as a tired journalist may
fall into as he drives his pen over the paper, leaving a train of
familiar words and phrases behind it. There are many dreamers like Cuckoo
on the thin riband of that pavement, moving in a maze created by
everlasting custom, beneath their flowers, half senseless to life, and
yet alive to the least human notice, behind the stretched barriers of
their veils. She walked from the Circus to Hyde Park corner and back
again; then turned, with an ever-growing lassitude, to repeat the
desolate experience. By this time the playhouses had vomited their
patrons into the night, and locomotion was becoming more difficult.
Sometimes there was a block, and Cuckoo found herself "hung up," as she
called it, squashed in a mass of people, all intent on some scheme of
their own, and resentful of the enforced interruption to their movement.
Then, by some unknown and mysterious means, the human knot was untied,
and all the atoms murmured on again through the ocean of the town. And
still Cuckoo was alone, and still the mechanical smile came and went upon
her lips, and her feet seemed to grow heavier and heavier, till they were
as cannon-balls to be lifted and dragged by her protesting muscles. And
still her senses seem to become more and more drugged by the familiarity
of it all, the familiarity of smile, of tired limbs, of incessant slow
motion, of staring faces and watchful eyes; the familiarity of the cabs
rolling home towards Knightsbridge and farther Kensington, with a dull,
harsh noise; the familiarity of personal, intense loneliness and longing
for quiet; the familiarity of the knowledge that quiet could only be
earned by failure, and that failure meant lack of food, debt, and deeper
degradation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account