As she said the words tears started under her blackened eyelashes.
If Julian had been taken aback before she spoke the last sentence, he
was ten times more astonished now. The whole situation struck him as
unexampled, and but for something so passionate in the girl's manner
that it overrode the natural feeling of the moment, his sense of humour
must have moved him to a smile. It was strange indeed to sit at midnight
under the electric moons of the Monico, and to be passionately condemned
for dissipation by a girl with a painted face, dyed hair, and that
terribly unmistakable imprint of the streets. But Julian could not smile.
Something in Cuckoo's demeanour, something so vehement and so unconscious
as to be not far from dignity, impressed him and took him well beyond the
gates of laughter.
"Why--but you were out in the crowd too," he said.
"I!" she said sharply, and with a touch of scathing contempt for
herself, yet impatient, too, of any introduction of her entity into the
discussion; "of course I've got to be there. What's that to do with it?"
"Really, Cuckoo," Julian began, but she interrupted him.
"I ain't you," she said.
"No, of course, but--"
"I'm different. It's nothing to me where I go of a night, or what I do.
But you ain't got to be there. You needn't go, need you?"
"Nobody need," he said. "But--"
"Then what d'you do it for?" she reiterated, still in the same tone of
one sitting on high in condemnation, and moved by her own utterance to an
increasing excitement. This time she paused for a reply, and set her
rouged lips together with the obvious intention of not speaking until
Julian had plainly put forward his defence. Strange to say, her manner
had impressed him with a ridiculous feeling that defence of some kind was
actually necessary. It was a case of one denizen of the dock putting on
the black cap to sentence another. Julian glanced at Cuckoo before he
made any reply to her last question. If he had had any intention of not
answering it at all, of calmly disposing, in a word or two, of her right
to interrogate him on his proceedings, her fixed and passionate eyes
killed it instantly. He moved his coffee-cup round uneasily in the
saucer.
"Men do many things they needn't do, as well as women," he began. "I must
have my amusements. Why not?"
At the word "amusements" she drew in her breath with a little hiss of
contempt. Julian flushed again.
"You're the last person," he began, and then caught himself up short. It
must be confessed that she was very aggravating, and that the position
she took up was wholly untenable. Having checked himself, he said
more calmly:
"What's the good of talking about it? I live as other men do, naturally."
"Are you a beast too, then?" she asked.
She still kept her voice low, and the sentence came with all the more
effect on this account.
"I don't see that," Julian exclaimed, evidently stung. "Women are always
ready to say that about men."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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