“Exzogu Mifto zmack!” Quantum barks into his intercom, and then I look out and see a dozen New Muans running along the beam carrying roscoes. The saucer’s gunners cover the citizens, and a shell loaded with Substance YZ goes off and knocks part of the Nougatine’s dorsal fin off. The Nougats break out a white flag. “We have found out how to magnetize light rays after we harness ’em, Sep,” Quantum says. “We have also succeeded in bending light rays. How’s progress on Earth?” “Oh, we’re still drivin’ horses compared to you, cousin,” I says, my wits near the end. I look out the port again. The New Muans are coming back across the beam with Mepha Spaam, a citizen who must have been a descendant of Hitler, the old Hun. Spaam has a big head with one eye, a chest like a barrel and a pair of legs no thicker than a crane’s. He wears a transparent helmet and an anti-gravity girdle. He is burning worse than the inside of Mt. Vesuvius and is gnashing teeth meshed like the jaws of a bear-trap. Spaam is brought into the saucer and trussed up with green ropes. “Brooomahoohoo!” he rips out. “Glopzatma!” “It is a good thing we don’t know what he is callin’ us,” I says. “Would you like to talk with Earth, Sep?” Quantum asks. “I will let you report that the universe is again safe for Democrats.” “All but Maine,” I sniff. “They never got beyond the atom!” The light beam is snapped off, and the saucer begins spinning. Quantum juggles the dials on his unlimited space set and I keep my eye peeled on the viso-screen. We get a shot of a football game on Venus, a beauty contest on Neptune, and a dog show on Uranus. Then the inside of headquarters of Earth’s Strategic Space Command begins to shape up. Looking out at me is Commander Bjaal. “Talk to him, Sep,” Quantum says and hands me a mike shaped like a calla lily. “Septimus Spink callin’ Earth!” I gulp. “Spink callin’ Commander Bjaal from New Mu space saucer. We have annihilated the Nougatine space armada and have taken Mepha Spaam a prisoner. Over and over!” “Y-You’re in a saucer, Spink?” Bjaal howls through outer and outer space. “Ha ha ha, and I am in limbo. And you will be out on one pullin’ this booboo on me.” “Awright,” I says, “take a look at my pal here, Bjaal. He is not made up for Hallowe’en. Show yourself, cousin.” Quantum Spink moves in beside me and Bjaal gets as white as bleached milk, and faints like a dame coming face to face with a Martian mouse. It is two minutes later he gets his marbles back. “Calling Commander Bjaal,” Quantum says in the native tongue of one of his forefathers. “When it rains superduraluminadamatine particles you will believe us. This is Quantum Spink, Commander of Saucer Escadrille of New Mu. There’ll be no good news in the Nougat Bars tonight. Venus will need no arms, ha! Oh, mad’mois’elle from Armentiers--” It is right then and there I know that this New Mu denizen is my cousin. “Hand me the mike, pal,” I says.