"Luckily, as we was fixed, there was a chance in the box for quite a
few sorts, so that saved the day. But s'pose, I got to thinkin', you
could only have one variety out of the lot--which would you take?
That's the sticker you face when choosin' a wife. S'pose, for
instance, I was pinned down to nothin' but caramels. The caramel is a
good, square, sensible, dependable candy. You can see through the
paper exactly what you're gettin'. There's nothin' concealed or
lurkin' in a caramel. Moreover, it lasts a long time an' you don't get
tired of it. It's just like some women--not much to look at, but
wholesome an' with good wearin' qualities. Should you choose the
caramel, you'd feel sure you was doin' the wise thing, wouldn't you?"
Robert Morton smiled into the half-closed blue eyes that met his so
whimsically.
"But along in the next tray to the caramel," Willie went on, "was
bonbons--every color of the rainbow they were, an' pretty as could be;
an' they held all sorts of surprises inside 'em, too. They was
temptin'! But the minute you put your mind on it you knew they'd turn
out sweet and sickish, an' that after gettin' 'em you'd wish you
hadn't. There's plenty of women like that in the world. Mebbe you
ain't seen 'em, but I have."
"Yes."
"Besides these, there was dishes of sparklin' jelly things on the
counter, that the girl said warn't much use--gone in no time; they were
just meant to dress up the box. I called 'em brainless candies--just
silly an' expensive, an' if you look around you'll find women can match
'em. An' along with 'em you can put the candied violets an' sugared
rose leaves that only make a man out of pocket an' ain't a mite of use
to him."
Willie scanned his companion's face earnestly.
"Finally, after runnin' the collection over, it kinder come down to a
choice between caramels or chocolates. Even then I still stood firm
for the caramel, there bein' no way of makin' sure what I'd get inside
the chocolate. I warn't willin' to go it blind, I told Dave. A
chocolate's a sort of unknowable thing, ain't it? There's no fathomin'
it at sight. After you've got it you may be pleased to death with
what's inside it an' then again you may not. So we settled mostly on
caramels for Katie. I said to Dave comin' home it was lucky men warn't
held down to one sort of candy like they are to one sort of wife, an'
he most laughed his head off. Then he asked me what kind of sweet I
thought Katie was, an' I told him I reckoned she was the caramel
variety, an' he said he thought so, too. We warn't fur wrong neither,
for she's turned out 'bout as we figgered. Mebbe she ain't got the
looks or the sparkle of the bonbons or jelly things, but she's worn
almighty well, an' made Dave a splendid wife."
"With all your excellent theories about women, I wonder you never
picked out a wife for yourself, Mr. Spence," Robert Morton remarked
mischievously.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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