Christian life -- Juvenile fiction; Pride and vanity -- Juvenile fiction; Self-deception -- Juvenile fiction
Flora’s deep love for her husband, even though returned, was no source
of unmingled happiness. She could not rest in calm confidence upon the
hope that all was well with him whom she deemed the most gifted and the
most attractive of men. Blinded as she was by her admiring affection,
Flora had yet many a secret misgiving and pang, when she heard words
pass the lips of her husband which confirmed the opinion of her mother.
She was ever struggling to persuade herself that the path which he
pursued could not be far wrong; that it was her education which had
narrowed her own mind; that he whose intellect soared to such a height
must see more clearly and widely than others. But it is difficult to
overthrow at once the fabric of opinion which has gradually been forming
from infancy; most difficult when that fabric is founded on truth, and
has the strong though secret support of conscience!
And there was one source of pain which Flora never owned to others,
never even acknowledged to her own heart. She prized the affection of
her husband beyond all earthly--alas! above all heavenly things; it was
her pride, her delight, her treasure: but how could she trust to links
which God had not rivetted? was not her treasure one which might take
wings to itself and flee away? Who could insure that the love which
beauty had awakened would not be perishable as that beauty? It had not
that firmness which arises from steady principle, that element of
immortality which religion alone can give. Flora was painfully aware
that many, and amongst them members of Sir Amery’s own family, had
deemed his marriage far below the expectations which such a man might
have formed. Was it quite impossible that the same thought might
sometimes cross the mind of her husband! There was no sweet babe, no
dear pledge of mutual affection, to bind the baronet’s heart to the
mother of his child.
Flora’s strength was not sufficient to enable her to share all the
amusements of her husband, nor had she enough of mental vigour to enter
into all his pursuits. He shone as a star in many places where his
gentle wife was never seen. Many a lonely evening she passed, while at
some festive board a brilliant circle was listening delighted to his
ever-flowing fountain of wit. Might Sir Amery not sometimes find her
society dull, her conversation insipid, after that to which he had been
accustomed? would her love suffice to make him happy? could he be
contented alone with her? Flora knew that the baronet had not married
her "_in the Lord_," that his affection for her was not from the Lord;
her whole felicity rested upon an earthly support--it might be
shaken--it might bend--it might give way!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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