“The last time he went to London,” pursued the old lady, “I collected a vast quantity of useless trash, and had it thrown into the pond behind the house. Well, when he cleared the decks next time, if he did not miss the old broken crockery, all of which, he said, he meant to mend with white lead on rainy days; while the broken bottles, forsooth, he had saved to put on the top of the brick wall, to hinder the little boys from climbing over to steal the apples! Oh, dear, dear, dear! there was no end to his bawling, and swearing, and calling me hard names, while he had the impudence to tell Kelly, in my hearing, that I was the most extravagant woman in the world. Now, _I_, that have borne him seventeen children, should know something about economy and good management; but he gives me no credit at all for that. He began scolding again to-day, but my poor head could not stand it any longer; so I came over to spend a few minutes with you.” The handsome old lady paused to draw breath, and looked so much excited with this recapitulation of her domestic wrongs, that Mrs. Lyndsay thought it not improbable she had performed her own part in the scolding. As to Flora, she was highly amused by the old Captain’s vagaries. “By-the-bye,” she said, “had he any luck in shooting this morning? He was out by sunrise with his gun.” The old lady fell back in her chair, and laughed immoderately. “Shooting! Yes, yes, that was another frolic of his. But Kitson’s an old fool, and I have told him so a thousand times. So you saw him this morning with the gun?” “Why, I was afraid he might shoot Lyndsay, who was shaving at the window. The captain pointed his gun sometimes at the window, and sometimes at the eaves of the house, but as the gun always missed fire, I began to regain my courage, and so did the sparrows, for they only chattered at him in defiance.” “And well they might. Why, my dear, would you believe it, he had no powder in his gun! Now, Mrs. Lyndsay, you will perhaps think that I am telling you a story, the thing is so absurd; yet I assure you that it’s strictly true. But you know the man. When my poor Nelly died, she left all her little property to her father, as she knew none of her late husband’s relations—never was introduced to one of them in her life. In her dressing-case he found a box of charcoal for cleaning teeth, and in spite of all that I could say or do, he insisted that it was _gunpowder_. ‘Gunpowder!’ says I, ‘what would our Nelly do with gunpowder? It’s charcoal, I tell you.’” “Then he smelt it, and smelt it—‘’Tis gunpowder, Sally! Don’t you think, that I know the smell of gunpowder? I, that was with Nelson at Copenhagen and Trafalgar?’ “‘’Tis the snuff in your nose, that makes everything smell alike;’ says I. ‘Do you think, that our Nelly would clean her beautiful white teeth with gunpowder?’