African Americans -- Fiction; Short stories, American; Southern States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Alone in his own room Howard Dokesbury sat down to study the situation in
which he had been placed. Had his thorough college training anticipated
specifically any such circumstance as this? After all, did he know his
own people? Was it possible that they could be so different from what he
had seen and known? He had always been such a loyal Negro, so proud of
his honest brown; but had he been mistaken? Was he, after all, different
from the majority of the people with whom he was supposed to have all
thoughts, feelings, and emotions in common?
These and other questions he asked himself without being able to arrive
at any satisfactory conclusion. He did not go to sleep soon after
retiring, and the night brought many thoughts. The next day would be
Saturday. The ordeal had already begun,—now there were twenty-four hours
between him and the supreme trial. What would be its outcome? There were
moments when he felt, as every man, howsoever brave, must feel at times,
that he would like to shift all his responsibilities and go away from
the place that seemed destined to tax his powers beyond their capability
of endurance. What could he do for the inhabitants of Mt. Hope? What was
required of him to do? Ever through his mind ran that world-old question:
“Am I my brother’s keeper?” He had never asked, “Are these people my
brothers?”
He was up early the next morning, and as soon as breakfast was done,
he sat down to add a few touches to the sermon he had prepared as his
introduction. It was not the first time that he had retouched it and
polished it up here and there. Indeed, he had taken some pride in it.
But as he read it over that day, it did not sound to him as it had
sounded before. It appeared flat and without substance. After a while he
laid it aside, telling himself that he was nervous and it was on this
account that he could not see matters as he did in his calmer moments. He
told himself, too, that he must not again take up the offending discourse
until time to use it, lest the discovery of more imaginary flaws should
so weaken his confidence that he would not be able to deliver it with
effect.
In order better to keep his resolve, he put on his hat and went out for
a walk through the streets of Mt. Hope. He did not find an encouraging
prospect as he went along. The Negroes whom he met viewed him with
ill-favour, and the whites who passed looked on him with unconcealed
distrust and contempt. He began to feel lost, alone, and helpless. The
squalor and shiftlessness which were plainly in evidence about the houses
which he saw filled him with disgust and a dreary hopelessness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account