At present he quite monopolized the conversation, turning it into a sort of scientific discourse; and I knew so well that he had been reading some little book about tides――probably in the train on his way down. I yawned two or three times when he looked in my direction, but I might have spared myself the rudeness, for it had not the slightest effect upon him while Katherine kept on asking questions as if she found what he said absorbing. My apparent indifference simply had the result of producing a _tête-à-tête_ between them. “You ought to become a University Extension lecturer,” I said, maliciously. “You should write and ask Tolstoy about it.” It was a highly disagreeable remark to make, and as soon as I had said it I was filled with shame. Owen coloured and stopped talking at once. I was very sorry. Inwardly I went down on my knees to him and begged his pardon, but outwardly I showed only a sullen stolidity. I said something to Katherine, but she answered coldly, and turned again to Owen as if to make up to him for my bad manners. And at this my remorse degenerated into sulkiness. Nevertheless, as we walked home together, I had the grace to apologize. “I’m sorry for what I said,” I muttered. “It was a most beastly thing to say. It’s not so much because it was rude as because it was rotten.” This distinction I cannot undertake here to explain; let it suffice that in my mind it was a very clearly defined one. “Oh, it doesn’t matter,” said Owen. “I always do talk either too much or too little.” After tea we went for a long walk and discussed all our old subjects. But in my present mood they bored me, though I was determined not to show it. What I really wanted just then was to be alone, that I might recall the past and make plans for the future. We went to bed when we came in, but long after Owen had dropped asleep I lay awake, wrapped in beautiful, desolating dreams. I gave Owen a gentle kick, for he had begun to snore, which troubled the quiet that was necessary for the perfect enjoyment of my visions. It woke him up, which was not what I had intended, but it couldn’t be helped, and, before he had dropped asleep again, I was myself lost in slumber. CHAPTER XLIV