Bildungsromans; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; First loves -- Fiction; Ireland -- Fiction
“I darn’t. Oul Thomas’d stop me, an’ I’d get in a row. I be to red up
all the grass, an’ rake the walk.”
“All right.”
I took no further interest in Jim, and he again vanished. There was a
further scraping noise, and the ladder, too, disappeared. I lay on in
a kind of waking-slumber till Mrs. Carroll came in, bringing me my tea.
When I had finished I once more fell into a doze, but opened my eyes in
the dusk, when I heard the notes of Jim’s flute under my window, in a
slow melancholy tune, with an occasional pause, as if the musician was
not very certain of his music. I recognised the air――the Lorelei. It
had a curious effect in the gathering twilight, as if the music and the
fading light were in some subtle way mingled. I knew that the unseen
musician was Jim, yet none the less the mournful notes, coming slowly
in a minor key, seemed the very soul of the deepening darkness, and
called up before me a world of imaginary sorrows, a passionate regret
for I knew not what, a kind of home-sickness for my dream-land. Tears
gathered in my eyes and ran down my cheeks. Fortunately nobody could
see them, but I was ashamed of them myself, though I knew they were
partly the result of my physical weakness. Still, it was ridiculous
that I should cry over Jim’s playing. Jim really couldn’t play at all.
It was stupid, idiotic; and the other day I had cried just in this same
senseless fashion over a book I had been reading; I had wept my soul
out in an ecstasy of love and misery.
When Jim’s serenade was ended I lay on in the darkness, my tears drying
on my cheeks, and thought what a fool I was. Why should I have cried?
What was the matter with me? It was not that I was unhappy; on the
contrary, I was extremely happy. Yet somehow I felt dimly that there
was a greater happiness than any I had ever experienced or probably
ever should experience. The meaning of my emotions and desires never
became quite clear, though I seemed on the verge of discovery. It was
as if there were something stirring within me to which I could not give
freedom, something which remained unsatisfied even in the midst of my
keenest pleasures....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account