Bildungsromans; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; First loves -- Fiction; Ireland -- Fiction
“Whose is it?” I asked, and was greatly surprised when he told me he
had done it himself, from memory. I had never seen any of his work
before, and I congratulated him on his success, which seemed to me
to be really a genuine one. I asked another question, but he did not
reply. He merely returned me my candle, which I held up for another
look. The small, wavering, uncertain flame lent a curious air of life
to the portrait, and I continued to regard it, for the frankness and
simplicity of the young face gave me great pleasure. When I glanced
round I discovered I was alone. My companion had disappeared without
my noticing it, and evidently he had gone out, not by the way we had
entered, but by another door at the farther end of the room. That
this was the case I had more positive proof next moment, for a sudden
draught extinguished my candle so swiftly and unexpectedly that I had
an odd feeling that somebody had stolen up behind me and blown it out.
OWEN GILL.
CHAPTER I
What is there in this house, in these surroundings, so utterly
different from those I was born amongst, that revives a swarm of
memories of my childhood and youth? My notes are piled up on the table
before me, they have been there for several days, and I have not
touched them, though I came here to work. A warm Italian sun floods
the stiff and formal garden stretching from my window, with its pale
paved walks, its fountain, and dark cypress-trees; but when I shut my
eyes, it is quite another garden that I see, and now, when I have at
last taken up my pen to write, it is not to fulfil the task I had set
myself, but to chatter idly of a boyhood passed under other skies,
grayer, softer, and colder. The odd fact is that ever since my arrival
here, in spite of my being upon “classic soil,” in a district rich
in historical suggestion, and full, too, of the colour and odour of
the south, I have been communing daily, hourly almost, with my own
youth. I should like to set down simply what that youth was, without
embroidery, without suppression, though, on the other hand, a mere bald
enumeration of the outward facts will be little to my purpose. The
facts in themselves are nothing. Unless I can recapture the spirit that
hovered behind them, my task will have been fruitless, and even though
in my effort to do so I shall probably accentuate it, alter it, clip
its wings and make it heavy, yet that must be my aim if I am to write
at all. I have little eloquence, and perhaps no power of evocation, but
the whole great, soft, time-toned picture is before me at this moment,
and I cannot resist the temptation to linger over it. If I linger over
it pen in hand, what matter?
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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