The season passed away, but Bertie remained. Sometimes, indeed, he
talked of going to Holland; he had an uncle, a stockbroker, in
Amsterdam. Possibly that uncle.... But Westhove would not hear of it;
and, when his friend's conscience pricked him for sponging on him, he
talked him down. What did it matter? If Bertie had been the rich man,
and he the pauper, Bertie would have done the same by him. They were
friends.
A true appreciation of the case began to dawn on him in the now firmly
established habits of their life. Frank's moral sense whispered drowsily
in the ease of their luxurious existence. Now and then indeed, he had
something like a vague suspicion that he was not rich enough for two;
that he had spent more in the last few months than in any former
season. But he was too heedless to dwell long on such unpleasant doubts.
He was lulled to sleep by Bertie as if by opium or morphia. Bertie had
become indispensable to him: he consulted his friend on every point, and
allowed himself to be led by him on every occasion, completely
subjugated by the ascendancy held over him by the fragile little man,
with his velvet paws, as though he had him under a yoke. Every now and
then--ere long at frequent intervals of about a fortnight--Bertie
disappeared, stayed away four or five days, and came back one fine
morning, with his insinuating smile, exhausted, pale, and tired out.
These were, perhaps, some secret excesses of dissipation--mysterious
adventure-hunting in the sordid purlieus of the lowest
neighbourhoods--of which Frank never heard nor understood the truth; a
depth of depravity into which Frank seemed too precise and dainty to be
initiated; sins in which he was to have no part, and which Bertie, in
his refinement of selfishness, kept for himself as an occasional treat.
Then Frank's hours were passed in disgust of life; he missed the
unwholesome stimulant of his existence; in his solitude he sank into
grey melancholy and sadness, verging on despair. He stayed at home all
day, incapable of any exertion, sulking in his lonely house, where
everything--the draping of the handsome curtains, the bronze nudity of
the statues, the careless disarray of the cushions on the divan--had
still, as it were, an odour of Bertie, which haunted him with regret. On
such days as these he was conscious of the futility of his existence,
the odious insignificance of his sinewless, empty life; useless,
aimless, null!
Sadly sweet memories would come over him; reminiscences of his parental
home, shining through the magic glass of retrospect, like bright, still
pools of tender domestic harmony, in which the figures of his father and
mother stood forth grand and noble, glorified by child-like affection.
He longed for some unspeakable ideal, something pure and chaste, some
high aim in life. He would shake off this torpor of the soul; he would
send away Bertie--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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