She did hot immediately understand him, and sat gazing at him
open-mouthed.
"Why?" she said at length, shuddering, terrified lest he should
understand something of what was torturing her soul.
"Because it would be so much better for you, my child," he said, gently.
"I have no right to fetter your life to mine. I am wrecked--an old
man--and you are young."
She clung closely to him.
"No, I am old, too," said she, with a smile, "and I will not have it. I
will be true to you. I will always comfort you when you are out of
heart. And so, together, we will both grow young again, and both be
happy."
Her voice was as sweet as balm; to give him strength she felt something
of her old illusions reviving in her. She would cling to him whatever
the cost: she loved him.
He clasped her tightly to his breast, and kissed her fondly. For the
moment she felt no fear; he was so unhappy.
"You are a dear, good girl," he whispered in a husky, trembling voice.
"I do not deserve that you should be so good to me. But, seriously, Eva,
think it over once more. Consider again whether you would not be
unhappy, nay, wretched, if you had to be with me always. There is yet
time; we have our future lives in our hands, and I cannot spend mine
with you, Eva, only to make yours more miserable than I have done
already. So, for your sake, for your happiness, I would gladly give you
back your word."
"But I will not have it!" she moaned, desperately. "I will not. I do not
understand you. Why should you give me back my word?"
He took her hands caressingly in his own, and looked in her face a long
time, with a sad smile under the gold-coloured moustache.
"Why? Because you--because you are afraid of me, my darling."
A spasm shot through her whole frame, like an electric shock; wildly she
looked at him, and wildly protested:
"It is not true, Frank; I swear it is not true! Great God! Why do you
think that? What have I done to make you think it? Believe me, Frank;
take my word. I swear to you by all that is holy; there. I swear to you
it is not true. I am not afraid of you."
"Yes, yes, Eva, you are afraid of me," he said, calmly. "And I
understand it; it must be so. And yet I assure you, you should have no
cause to be. For I should be a lamb in your hands; I would lay my head
in your hands; your pretty, cold, white hands, and sleep like a child.
You should do with me whatever you would, and I would never be angry
with you, for I could never be so again, never again. I would lie at
your feet; I would feel your feet on me, on my breast, and lie so
still--so calm and blest!--"
He had fallen on his knees before her, with his head in her lap, on her
hands.
"Well, then," she said, gently, "if that is the case, why should I ever
be afraid of you since you promise me this? And why do you talk of
releasing me from my word?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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