For love and life; vol. 1 of 2Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
For love and life; vol. 1 of 2
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
“You are very kind,” said Edgar; but his attention wandered after this,
and other thoughts came into his mind, thoughts of himself and his
forlorn condition, and of the profound uncertainty into which he and all
his ways had been plunged. He scarcely paid any attention to the
arrangements Mr. Tottenham immediately made, though he remembered that
he promised to go out with him next day to Tottenham’s, as his house was
called. “The same as the shop,” he said, with a twinkle in the corner of
his grey eye. Edgar consented to these arrangements passively; but his
patience was worn out, and he was very anxious to get away.
And so this strange evening came to an end, and the morning after it.
The new day arose, a smoky, foggy, wintry morning, through which so many
people went to work; but not Edgar. He looked out upon the world from
his window with a failing heart. Even from Kensington and Brompton,
though these are not mercantile suburbs, crowds of men were jolting
along on all the omnibuses, crowds pouring down on either side of the
street--to work. The shop people went along the road getting and
delivering orders; the maid-servants bustled about the doors in the
foggy, uncertain light; the omnibuses rushed on, on, in a continuous
stream; and everybody was busy. Those who had no work to do, pretended
at least to be busy too; the idlers had not come out yet, had not
stirred, and the active portion of the world were having everything
their own way. Edgar had revived from his depression, but he had not
regained his _insouciance_ and trust in the future. On the contrary, he
was full of the heaviest uncertainty and care. He could not wait longer
for this appointment, which might keep him hanging on half his life,
which was just as near now as when he began to calculate on having it
“about Christmas;” probably the next Christmas would see it just as
uncertain still. He must, he felt, attempt something else, and change
his tactics altogether. He must leave his expensive lodgings at once;
but alas! he had a big bill for them, which he had meant to pay off his
first quarter’s salary. He had meant to pay it the moment that blessed
money for which he should have worked came; and now there was no
appearance, no hope of it ever coming--at least, only as much hope as
there had always been, no more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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