For love and life; vol. 2 of 2Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
For love and life; vol. 2 of 2
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
“I don’t know that I should mind much,” said honest Harry; “there are
such heaps of them, for one thing; and children ain’t much in my way.
There’s two little things, I believe--little girls, which riles Arden.
Helena’s got a baby, by the way--did you know?--the rummiest little
customer, bald, like its father. Nell was as mad as could be when I said
so. By Jove! what fun it was! with a sort of spectacled look about the
eyes. If that child don’t take to lecturing as soon as it can speak,
I’ll never trust my judgment again.”
Edgar did not feel in a humour to make any response to young
Thornleigh’s laughter. He felt himself like an instrument which was
being played upon, struck by one rude touch after another, able to do
nothing but give out sounds of pain or excitement. He could do nothing
to help Clare, nothing to liberate Gussy; and yet Providence had thrust
him into the midst of them without any doing of his, and surrounded him
once more with at least the reflection of their lives. He let Harry
laugh and stop laughing without taking any notice. He began to be
impatient of his own position, and to feel a longing to plunge again
into the unknown, it did not matter where, and get rid of those dear
visions. Excitement brought its natural reaction in a sudden fit of
despondency. If he could do nothing--and it was evident he could do
nothing--would it not be better to save himself the needless pain, the
mingled humiliation and anguish of helplessness? So long as he was here,
he could not but ask, he could not but know. Though the ink was scarcely
dry upon the letters he had been writing, the cry for aid to establish
himself somehow, in an independent position which he had sent forth to
all who could help--a sudden revulsion of feeling struck him, brought
out by his despair and sense of impotence. Far better to go away to
Australia, to New Zealand, to the end of the world, and at least escape
hearing of the troubles he could do nothing to relieve, than to stay
here and know all, and be able to do nothing. An instrument upon which
now one strain of emotion, now another, was beaten out--that was the
true image. Lady Mary had played upon him the other day, eliciting all
sorts of confused sounds, wound up by a sudden strain of rapture; and
now Harry struck the passive cords, and brought forth vaguer murmurs of
fury, groans of impotence, and pain. It would not do. He was not a reed
to be thus piped upon, but a man suffering, crying out in his pain, and
he must make an end of it. Thus he thought, musing moodily, while Harry
laughed over his sister’s bald baby. Harry himself was a dumb Memnon,
whom no one had ever woke into sound, and he did not understand anything
about his companion’s state of mind.
“Have you come to an end of your questions?” he said. “You ain’t so
curious as I expected. Now here goes on my side? First and foremost, in
the name of all that’s wonderful, how did you come here?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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