For love and life; vol. 2 of 2Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
For love and life; vol. 2 of 2
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
With this Harry lit his candle and marched off to bed, very well pleased
with himself. He had done all that Lady Augusta had hoped for. So far as
his own family were concerned, he had comported himself like a
precocious Macchiavelli. He had named no names, he had made no
allusions, he had renewed his old friendship as frankly as possible,
without however indulging Edgar in a single excursion into the past. He
had mentioned Helena, who was perfectly safe and proper to be mentioned,
a sign that he talked to his old friend with perfect freedom; but with
the judgment of a Solomon he had gone no further. Not in vain did Harry
flatter himself on being a man of the world. He was fond of Edgar, but
he would have considered his sister’s choice of him, in present
circumstances, as too ludicrous to be thought of. And there can be
little doubt that Harry’s demeanour had an influence upon Edgar far more
satisfactory for Lady Augusta than her sister’s intervention had been.
All the visionary possibilities that had revealed themselves in Lady
Mary’s warning, disappeared before the blank suavity of Harry. In that
friendly matter-of-fact discussion of his friend’s difficulties, he had
so entirely left out the chief difficulty, so taken it for granted that
nothing of the kind existed, that Edgar felt like a man before whom a
blank wall has suddenly risen, where a moment before there were trees
and gardens. Harry’s was the man’s point of view, not the woman’s. Those
regrets and longings for what might have been, which Lady Mary could not
prevent from influencing her, even when she sincerely wished that the
might have been should never be, were summarily extinguished in Harry’s
treatment. Of course the old must crop up, and confront the new, and of
course the complication must be faced and put up with, not run away
from. Such was the young man of the world’s philosophy. Edgar sat long
after he was gone, once more feeling himself the instrument on which
every one played, rather than a conscious actor in the imbroglio. The
image got possession of his fanciful brain. Like the thrill of the
chords after the hand that struck them had been withdrawn, he seemed to
himself to keep on vibrating with long thrills of after sensation, even
when the primary excitement was over. But words are helpless to describe
the thousand successive changes of feeling of which the mind is capable
at a great crisis, especially without immediate power to act one way or
another. Edgar, in despair, went and shut himself into the library and
read, without knowing well what he read. The passage of those long
processions of words before his eyes, gave him a certain occupation,
even if they conveyed but little meaning. How easy it would be to do
anything; how difficult it was to bear, and go on, and wait!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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