"Who, the Major? A shark, I tell you! That old boy has been a great
golfer in his day, and it wasn't so long ago neither. To look at him you
wouldn't think he had a full cleek shot in his system, but that's where
he'd fool you. What's more, he knows where it's goin' when he ties into
it. The young fellah plays a mighty sweet game--mighty sweet. He hits
everything clean and hard and right on the line, but give the Major a
few days' practise and he'll carry my small change every time. Knows
more golf than Serial--got more shots, and he's a whale with his irons.
He's a little wild with his wood off the tee--hooks too much and gets
into trouble--but when he straightens out that drive he'll have Serial
playin' the odd behind him. Say, it'd be great to get 'em both into the
Invitation Tournament, eh?"
Now our Invitation Tournament is the big show of the year in golfing
circles. Waddles sees to that. All members of the association are
eligible, but visitors have to have a card and an invitation as well.
Waddles always scans these visitors very closely, and if a man is known
as a cup hunter no amount of pressure can get him in. The Major, being a
member of the club, was automatically invited to participate, but Cyril
must be classed as a visitor.
I went to Waddles and told him what Sam had told me, suggesting that
here was the chance to coax the Major off the porch for good, and
perhaps get him onto the team later. I said that I thought it would be a
graceful thing to issue an invitation to Cyril without waiting for a
request from the Major.
"You poor fish!" said Waddles. "I was going to do that anyway. Do you
think I'm asleep all the time?"
That is the way with Waddles. He can catch an idea on the fly, and
before it settles he has adopted it as his own. He doesn't care a
brass-mounted continental who scared it up in the first place. Before it
lights it is his--all his. He said he didn't believe the Major was half
so good as his advance notices, and, as for the full cleek shot, he
pooh-poohed that part of the story entirely. Waddles has never mastered
the cleek, but he is a demon with a bulldog spoon or with a brassy.
"I'll do this thing--as a common courtesy to a member," said Waddles;
"but I'm not counting on the Major's golf. A man can't lay off for
months and come back playing any sort of a game."
So the invitation was issued in Cyril's name, and we went in search of
the Major. He was on the porch and Cyril was practising putts on the
clock green.
Waddles can be very formal and dignified and diplomatic when he wants to
be, and as a salve spreader he has few equals and no superiors. He pays
a compliment in such a bluff, hearty fashion that it carries with it an
air of absolute sincerity.
"Major," he began, "I can't tell you how delighted I am to hear that you
have taken up the game again. Aside from the pleasure, it is bound to
benefit your health."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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