American fiction -- 19th century; Dime novels; Popular literature
“You cannot despise me more than I despise myself, for I see it now just
as you do, and I must have been an idiot, or crazy. You will loathe me
always, of course, and I cannot blame you; but remember. I did not mean
it for love, or think to stay with you. I do not love you _that way_;
such a thing would be impossible, and I would not marry you now for a
thousand times the money.”
She had used her last and heaviest weapon, and without a glance at him
turned to go from the room, but he would not suffer her to leave him
thus. Over him, too, as she talked, a curious change had come, for he
saw the transformation taking place and knew he was losing the sweet,
old-fashioned, guileless-child, who had been so dear to him. She was
leaving him, forever, and in her place there stood a full-fledged woman,
rife with a woman’s instincts, quivering with passion, and burning with
resentment and anger, that he had not at once understood her meaning
just as she understood it. How her words,—“I do not love you that way;
such a thing is impossible; and I would not marry you now for a thousand
times the money,” rang through his ears, and burned themselves into his
memory to be recalled afterward, with such bitter pain as he had never
known. He did not quite like this impetuous assertion of the
impossibility of loving him. It grated upon him with a sense of
something lost. He must stand well with Rossie, though her love _that
way_, as she expressed it, was something he had never dreamed of as
possible.
“Rossie,” be said, putting out his arm to detain her, “you must not go
from me feeling as you do now. You have done nothing for which you need
to blush, because you had no bad intent, and the motive is what exalts
or condemns the act. Sit here by me. I wish to talk with you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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