American fiction -- 19th century; Dime novels; Popular literature
The cut over his eye was paining him, he said, and if they would excuse
him he would retire to his room early, and should probably be all right
on the morrow. The night was hot and sultry, and even the light breeze
from the river seemed oppressive and laden with thunder, and for hours
Everard lay awake thinking of the future, which stretched before him so
drearily with that burden on his mind. How he wished that it might prove
a dream, from which he should awake to find himself free once more,—free
to marry Josephine if he chose, and he presumed he should, but not till
his college days were over, and he could take her openly and publicly as
a true man takes the woman he loves and honors. How he hated to be a
sneak and a coward, and he called himself by these names many times, and
loathed himself for the undefinable something creeping over him, and
which made him shrink even from Josephine herself as Josephine. He said
he did not care a picayune for the butcher and the cook, and he did not
care for the dollar jewelry and cotton lace, though he would rather his
mother and Bee had not used the opprobrious terms, but he did care for
the _sham_ of which his mother had spoken, and which even Rossie had
detected. Was Josey a sham, and if so, what was his life with her to be?
Alas for Everard! he was only just entering the cloud which was to
overshadow him for so many wretched years. At last he fell into a
troubled sleep, from which he was aroused by the noise of the storm of
rain which had swept down the river and was beating against the house,
but above the storm there was another sound, Rossie calling to him in
tones of affright, and bidding him hasten to his mother, who was dying.
Of all which followed next Everard retained in after life but a vague
consciousness. There was a confused dressing in the dark, a hurrying to
his mother, whose white face turned so eagerly toward him, and whose
pallid lips were pressed upon his brow as they prayed God to keep him
from evil, and bring him at last to the world she was going to. There
were words of love and tender parting to the stricken husband and
heart-broken Rossie, who had been to her like a daughter, and whom she
committed to the care of both Everard and his father, as a precious
legacy left in their charge. Then, drawing Everard close to her, she
whispered so low that no one else could hear:
“Forgive me if I seemed harsh in what I said of Josephine. I only meant
it for your good. I may have been mistaken; I hope I was. I hope she is
good, and true, and womanly, and if she is, and you love her, her birth
is of no consequence, none whatever. God bless you, my child, and her,
too!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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