On a bright evening of sunshine, about six o'clock, she died--Mrs.
Brockett, the Tressiters, Norah Monogue also were with her at the time.
Peter had been with her alone during the earlier afternoon and although
she had been very weak she had talked to him in her trembling voice (it
was like the noise that two needles knocking against one another would
make), and she had told him how she believed in him.
She made him ashamed with the things that she said about him. He had
paid her little enough attention, he thought, during these seven years.
There were so many things that he might have done. As the afternoon sun
streamed into the room and the old lady, her hands like ivory upon the
counterpane, fell into a quiet sleep he wondered--Was he bad or good?
Was he strong or weak? These things that people said, the affection that
people gave him ... he deserved none of it. Surely never were two
so opposite presences bound together in one body--he was profoundly
selfish, profoundly unselfish, loving, hard, kind, cruel, proud, humble,
generous, mean, completely possessed, entirely uncontrolled, old beyond
his years, young beyond belief--
As he sat there beside the sleeping old lady he felt a contempt of
himself that was beyond all expression, and also he felt a pride at the
things that he knew that he might do, a pride that brought the blood to
his cheeks.
The Man on the Lion? The Man under the Lion's Paw?... The years would
show. A quiet happy serenity passed over Mrs. Lazarus' face and he
called the others into the room.
Stern Mrs. Brockett was crying. Mrs. Lazarus woke for a moment and
smiled upon them all. She took Peter's hand.
“Be good to old people,” she breathed very faintly--then she closed her
eyes and so died.
Below in the street a boy was calling the evening papers. “Arrival of
the Prince and Princess of Schloss.... Arrival of the Prince and--”
They closed the windows and pulled down the blinds.
II
Thursday was to be the day of Royal Processions, and on Friday old Mrs.
Lazarus was to be buried.
To Peter, Wednesday was a day of extravagant confusion--extravagant
because it was a day on which nothing was done. Customers were not
served in the shop. Editors were not attacked in their lairs. Nothing
was done, every one hung about.
Peter could not name any one as directly responsible for this state of
things, nor could he define his own condition of mind; only he knew that
he could not leave the shop. About its doors and passages there fell all
day an air of suspense. Mr. Zanti was himself a little responsible for
this; it was so unusual for that large and smiling gentleman to waste
the day idly; and yet there he was, starting every now and again for the
door, looking into the empty yard from the windows at the back of the
house, disappearing sometimes into the rooms above, reappearing suddenly
with an air of unconcern a little too elaborately contrived.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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