In the early days how well he remembered Clare's enthusiasm--a little
extravagant, it seemed now. Then during the first year of their married
life she had wanted to know everything about the making of “The Stone
House.” It was almost as though it had been a cake or a pie, and he knew
that he had found her questions difficult to answer and that he had had
it driven in upon him that it was not really because she was interested
in the subtleties of his art that she enquired but because of her own
personal affection for him; if he had been making boots or a suit of
clothes it would have been just the same. Then when “The Stone House”
appeared her eagerness for its success had been tremendous--there
was nothing she would not do to help it along--but that, he somewhat
ironically discovered, was because she liked success and the things that
success brought.
Then when the book had not succeeded--or only so very little--her
interest had, of a sudden, subsided. “Oh! I suppose you've got to go and
do your silly old writing ... I think you might come out with me just
this afternoon. It isn't often that I ask anything of you....” He did
not believe that she had ever really finished “The Stone House.” She
pretended that she had--“the end was simply perfect,” but she was vague,
nebulous. He found the marker in her copy, some fifty pages before the
end.
She was so easily impressed by every one whom she met that perhaps the
laughing attitude of Cards to Peter's books had something to do with it
all. Cards affected to despise anything to do with work, here to-day,
gone to-morrow--let us eat and drink ... dear old Peter, grubbing away
upstairs--“I say, Mrs. Westcott, let's go and rag him....” And then they
had come and invaded his room at the top of the house, and sometimes
he had been glad and had flung his work down as though it were of no
account ... and then afterwards, in the middle of some tea-party he
had been suddenly ashamed, deeply, bitterly ashamed, as though he had
actually wounded those white pages lying up there in his quiet room.
He was at this time, like a man jostled and pushed and turned about
at some riotous fair; looking, now this way, now that, absorbed by a
thousand sights, a thousand sounds--and always through it all feeling,
bitterly in his heart, that something dear to him, somewhere in some
place of silence, was dying--
Well, hang it all, at any rate there was the Child!
II
At any rate there was the Child!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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