And as he knew, sitting there, that thus Peace had come to him, how odd
it seemed that only a few weeks ago he had been coming down to Cornwall
with his soul, as he had then thought, killed for ever.
The world had seemed, utterly, absolutely, for ever at an end; and
now here he was, sitting here, eager to go back into it all again,
wanting--it almost seemed--to be bruised and battered all over again.
And perceiving this showed him what was indeed the truth that all his
life had been only Boy's History. He had gone up--he had gone down--he
had loved and hated, exulted and despaired, but it was all with a boy's
intense realisation of the moment, with a boy's swift, easy transition
from one crisis to another.
It had been his education--and now his education was over. As he had
said those words to Norah Monogue, “I will go back,” he had become a
man. Never again would Life be so utterly over as it had been two months
ago--never again would he be so single-hearted in his reserved adoption
of it as he had been those days ago, at Norah Monogue's side.
He saw that always, through everything that boy, Peter Westcott had
been in the way. It was not until he had taken, on that day in Norah
Monogue's room, Peter Westcott in his hands and flung him to the four
winds that he had seen how terribly in the way he had been. “Go back,”
Norah had said to him; “you have done all these things for yourself and
you have been beaten to your knees--go back now and do something for
others. You have been brave for yourself--be brave now for others.”
And he was going back.
He was going back, as he had seen on that day, to no easy life. He was
going to take up all those links that had been so difficult for him
before--he was going to learn all over again that art that he had
fancied that he had conquered at the very first attempt--he was going
now with no expectations, no hopes, no ambitions. Life was still an
adventure, but now an adventure of a hard, cruel sort, something that
needed an answer grim and dark.
The storm was coming up apace. The wind had risen and was now rushing
over the short stiff grass, bellowing out to meet the sea, blowing back
to meet the clouds that raced behind the hill.
The sky was black with clouds. Peter could see the sand rising from the
dunes in a thin mist.
Peter flung himself upon his back. The first drops of rain fell, cold,
upon his face. Then he heard:
“Peter Westcott! Peter Westcott!”
“I'm here!”
“What have you brought to us here?”
“I have brought nothing.”
“What have you to offer us?”
“I can offer nothing.”
He got up from the ground and faced the wind. He put his back to the
Giant's Finger because of the force of the gale. The rain was coming
down now in torrents.
He felt a great exultation surge through his body.
Then the Voice--not in the rain, nor the wind, nor the sea, but yet all
of these, and coming as it seemed from the very heart of the Hill, came
swinging through the storm--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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