England, Northern -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Jews -- Fiction
Swifter, swifter, train, absorb the miles! That white house below the
chimney stack on the horizon there, shall we never outstrip it?
Grinning there in its unapproachable immobility! Ah, now, the horizon
swivels round on a pivot, and swift for your callous face, oh, white,
grinning house! Wind, wind, what message do you bring from her? Is
she waiting? No, no, I shall not come too late!
Who's speaking? "That'll do, young feller-me-lad!" The draught has
awakened the dozing fat man.
His lips vibrate with growing indignation. "Shoot that winder oop and
sit tha down! Awake sin' fower o'th'clock and tha wilt go playin'
tricks with winders, wilt'a... ?"
The window is replaced along the full length of its groove, and with a
rumbling from the gills, a slight outraged crest-heavy swinging, the
fat man once more slides away into somnolence.
What shall he do as the slow miles dawdle by? Poetry! How long he has
deserted poetry! What strange affinity had there been between poetry
and beetles! Rarely, rarely since those old days of crackling
wall-paper and whisperful spent cinders where the beetles crawled, had
a pencil, busy a moment ago on the annotation of vacuous texts, found
itself scrawling rhymes and dreams. He had felt that poetry would not
come his way again, but now ... as the train beat like a living pulse,
now that his own heart seemed to be moving forward and backward again,
a great shining piston ... He hunted in his pockets for a pencil, took
out a blunt stump, and lifted an envelope from the same pocket. With a
quick dart of anguish he realized it was the last letter he had
received from Channah, where already the signature of his mother
sprawled with the impotence of death. He flung the pencil away as if
the impulse which had produced it from his pocket had been treason. He
remembered with bitter mirth an anticipatory consolation he had once
frequently imbibed. At the same time as he had persistently assured
himself of his mother's immortality, he had whispered, smirking, "Yes,
but when she does die, won't I start writing wonderful poetry!
Marvellous elegies that'll make Gray sound like a threepenny
kettledrum! I'll make 'em sit up! And I'll have a little book bound
in soft red leather..." The tortured lad winced as he brought to mind
the old fatuity. He would make capital out of her death, would he,
little books bound in soft red leather! How well he knew now he would
be like a fallen leaf on a road trodden by a thousand feet!
Oh, swifter, train! Never train moved so slowly! He moved from
against the fat man and pushed the opposite seat ludicrously with his
feet to bring the train sooner to Doomington.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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