England, Northern -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Jews -- Fiction
He was holding the envelope in his hand. And he had allowed the girl
called Mamie to persuade him to take no alarm in the weakening of the
signature. He had suppressed the instinct from swimming into clear
consciousness, the instinct to return at once before the hand weakened
into the last torpor. Now at length the contest and the protagonists
of which his mind had been the arena stood starkly before him, and he
knew, with what shame, what despair, who had prevailed. Mamie and a
tickling of the lips, shafts of shy pleasure about the loins--and his
mother, waiting. With abrupt clarity, the enamelled can which last
night had prevailed over the disorder of his dreams, returned. Now
clearly he realized the heart-breaking symbolism of the enamel can; not
merely symbolism! Soon the can should be not merely a symbol, but a
fact; soon, perhaps now!
In all his forethought of death, not in especial relation with his
mother, but with anybody he loved or knew, one element in the Jewish
custom had brought him most distress. Frequent observation had
instructed him that when a dead body lay beyond the doors of a Jewish
house, a vessel of water and a bucket to replenish it were placed at
the edge of the pavement. As the living passed by the place of death,
the vessel was lifted to sluice from each hand alternately of the
passer-by the contamination issuing from the melancholy doors. It was
a sign of death which had sometimes come upon him so suddenly but with
such incontrovertible assertion that it had long filled the crevices of
his mind with horror.
The actual enamel tin of his dreams he also recognized. It had been
condemned a long time ago to the scullery at Angel Street, because the
enamel had been chipped by old service from its edges, and it now hung,
he well remembered, on a rusted nail by the sink. It had been used by
his father and himself for the hand-washing which preceded every meal.
There could be no vestige of doubt that when the time came for this
desperate and bitter use, the enamel can would be lifted from the nail
and would contain cold water for cleansing at the pavement's edge.
Ah, how he realized now what Mamie was endeavouring to do when she had
lifted the enamel can in his dreams and thrown away the water, and the
can had fallen from her fingers. Once more she sought to delude him
into believing that all was well, that the deadly need did not exist
for the cleansing of hands at the enamel can. Even as she had sought
to assure him that all was well with the writing in Channah's letter!
Too late! There at the pavement's edge, despite her duplicity, the
enamel can lay once more, its little lake of grey water reflecting the
grey sky. Here came a woman, swaying in her sorrow, her shawl slipping
from her head! She stooped. Over the knuckles of the left hand washed
the water, over the knuckles of the right.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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