England, Northern -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Jews -- Fiction
He was only slightly conscious of the people that came in to see how
she was and of his father sitting speechless in the corner, and Dorah
busy with one thing and another. He resented the appearance of the
doctor and his cursory examination of her, the negative shaking of his
head towards Reb Monash. What was there still to be done! What need
was there to underline so black, so ineluctable a fact? Perhaps if he
had more frequently envisaged the possibility of her death formerly,
even in the face of her lying so wasted on the bed before him he might
have dared to entertain a wild flicker of hope. But having only in
dreams seen her dead hitherto, and then with such indignation and
terror even in the depths of his subconscious heart that he would awake
fighting the dark, now the pulse of his soul was smothered in an icy
certitude, and he would allow no forlorn gleam of hope to lead him away
from her, from this last intense communion of which the sands were
running out, moment by ashen moment.
There was a murmuring like wings about their heads and about them the
shuffling of clumsy feet attempting to achieve a vain silence.
Sometimes he would find Reb Monash hanging over them, or Channah and
Dorah whispering together. One of them might smooth a pillow or lift a
spoon to her lips. And though he knew that these things were happening
within the same four walls as contained his mother and himself, in the
limitless egotism of his grief it seemed to him that walls far other
than these held them in a remote world, together, inseparable,
undisturbed.
Imperceptibly day had thickened into dusk and dusk into night. The
incandescent mantle chuckled and flared unevenly. The last neighbour
had tearfully withdrawn. He knew that several times Dorah had spoken
to him and that he had answered, yet with no knowledge of the words his
lips were actually shaping. At last he realized that both his sisters
were urging him to go away, to go to bed. Channah was trying to draw
him from the chair where he sat leaning over the bed.
"No, no, I'm not going!" he said.
"But you must go! Channah and I..." started Dorah.
"Go!" said Channah, "only for a few hours!"
"I tell you I've been away all these days and I'm not going away for a
second now! Let me be quiet, both of you! You go to bed! Can't I see
you've been up every night, while I've been sleeping in comfort over
there, not knowing anything!" He dropped his voice to a tone of
appeal. "_Do_ let me stay! If she wants anything, I can manage it.
Dorah, you ought to go up to be near father!" He found himself dimly
conscious for the first time since his return of his father's pallor,
his ghost-like silence. The vague picture of his father faded away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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