"Permit me," he said, "to speak to you in my own language. You made me
share your feelings of home-longing when you talked of your winter
quietness. You put me in mind of my old German winters, which now lie
so far behind me, and can never be to me again what they were. I heard
again the light sound of the raven brushing through the bare branches,
and breaking the dry twigs, till a fine cloud of snow fell past the
window like crystal dust. My mother lay there ill on her bed for months
together. She could not, and would not, longer endure the noise and
bustle of the town. Before that time the old country-house had only
seen summer visitors, cheerful hunters, and gay promenaders. Then it
became the winter retreat where my mother recovered from her wearying
journeys to the baths."
"You were with her then?"
"For the first year or two, only for a week at a time. The last winter,
however, she would not let me leave her. I sat the whole day by her,
worked, and talked now and then, or played her favourite airs, those
simple old ballads which are now quite out of fashion. The little room
opened into the garden by several tall windows. I can see my father now
pacing up and down on the terrace before it, with his bear-skin cap and
short pipe. He could not bear the close air of the room for long at a
time. But he seldom left his post, and whoever had business with him
must seek him there. Now and then he came in to us for a quarter of an
hour at a time. I can never forget the look with which my poor mother
used to greet him then. She had beautiful bright blue eyes."
"And she died then?"
"In the spring. My father soon afterwards. He met with an accident in
riding. After my mother left us he had no rest, mounted the wildest
horses, and often remained away half the day, much as I used to entreat
him to spare himself I understood him. I could never free myself from a
secret terror. I was in the right."
They had arrived at the foot of the path, and stood still to wait for
their companion; Mary paused some steps from him, so that when he
turned and looked round over the country, he had her full face towards
him. The fair, bright features were clouded with sadness, and there was
a moist gleaming under the drooping eyelids. When she raised them, he
saw the blue eyes resting full and seriously on the landscape before
her. He knew this look already. He had avoided it hitherto, for he knew
the power that lay in it. Now he surrendered himself wholly to it for
the first time. "Mary!" he said. She moved not nor looked towards him.
Then their meditative little friend rejoined them. The conversation was
resumed as they mounted the ascent to Tivoli. But Mary took no part in
it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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