MAUD. [Without--to HANNIBAL, who is snuffling on the verandah and
straining at the scarf] Bad dog!
LADY ELLA. We must simply thank her tremendously! I shall never
forget the way she ran in, with her skirts up to her waist!
THE SQUIRE. By Jove! No. It was topping.
LADY ELLA. Her clothes must be ruined. That pond--ugh! [She
wrinkles her nose] Tommy, do have it drained.
THE RECTOR. [Dreamily] I don't remember her face in church.
THE SQUIRE. Ah! Yes. Who is she? Pretty woman!
LADY ELLA. I must get the Vet. to Edward. [To THE SQUIRE] Tommy,
do exert yourself!
[MAUD re-enters.]
THE SQUIRE. All right! [Exerting himself] Here's a bell!
HER VOICE. [Through the door] The bleeding's stopped. Shall I send
him in to you?
LADY ELLA. Oh, please! Poor darling!
[They listen.]
[LADY ELLA, prepares to receive EDWARD. THE SQUIRE and RECTOR
stand transfixed. The door opens, and a bare arm gently pushes
EDWARD forth. He is bandaged with a smooth towel. There is a
snuffle--HANNIBAL has broken the scarf, outside.]
LADY ELLA. [Aghast] Look! Hannibal's loose! Maud--Tommy. [To THE
RECTOR] You!
[The THREE rush to prevent HANNIBAL from re-entering.]
LADY ELLA. [To EDWARD] Yes, I know--you'd like to! You SHALL bite
him when it's safe. Oh! my darling, you DO----[She sniffs].
[MAUD and THE SQUIRE re-enter.]
Have you tied him properly this time?
MAUD. With Bertie's braces.
LADY ELLA. Oh! but----
MAUD. It's all right; they're almost leather.
[THE RECTOR re-enters, with a slight look of insecurity.]
LADY ELLA. Rector, are you sure it's safe?
THE RECTOR. [Hitching at his trousers] No, indeed, LADY Ella--I----
LADY ELLA. Tommy, do lend a hand!
THE SQUIRE. All right, Ella; all right! He doesn't mean what you
mean!
LADY ELLA. [Transferring EDWARD to THE SQUIRE] Hold him, Tommy.
He's sure to smell out Hannibal!
THE SQUIRE. [Taking EDWARD by the collar, and holding his own nose]
Jove! Clever if he can smell anything but himself. Phew! She ought
to have the Victoria Cross for goin' in that pond.
[The door opens, and HERSELF appears; a fine, frank, handsome
woman, in a man's orange-coloured motor-coat, hastily thrown on
over the substrata of costume.]
SHE. So very sorry--had to have a bath, and change, of course!
LADY ELLA. We're so awfully grateful to you. It was splendid.
MAUD. Quite.
THE RECTOR. [Rather holding himself together] Heroic! I was just
myself about to----
THE SQUIRE. [Restraining EDWARD] Little beast will fight--must
apologise--you were too quick for me----
[He looks up at her. She is smiling, and regarding the wounded
dog, her head benevolently on one side.]
SHE. Poor dears! They thought they were so safe in that nice pond!
LADY ELLA. Is he very badly torn?
SHE. Rather nasty. There ought to be a stitch or two put in his
ear.
LADY ELLA. I thought so. Tommy, do----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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