France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories
Three o’clock struck, then four, but he could not take his departure.
When showers fell he buried himself in a corner of the doorway, his
legs splashed with wet. Nobody passed by now, and occasionally his eyes
would close, as though scorched by the streak of light, which he kept
watching obstinately, fixedly, with idiotic persistence. On two
subsequent occasions the shadows flitted about, repeating the same
gestures and agitating the silhouette of the same gigantic jug, and
twice quiet was re-established, and the night lamp again glowed
discreetly out. These shadows only increased his uncertainty. Then,
too, a sudden idea soothed his brain while it postponed the decisive
moment. After all, he had only to wait for the woman when she left the
house. He could quite easily recognize Sabine. Nothing could be
simpler, and there would be no scandal, and he would be sure of things
one way or the other. It was only necessary to stay where he was. Among
all the confused feelings which had been agitating him he now merely
felt a dull need of certain knowledge. But sheer weariness and vacancy
began lulling him to sleep under his doorway, and by way of distraction
he tried to reckon up how long he would have to wait. Sabine was to be
at the station toward nine o’clock; that meant about four hours and a
half more. He was very patient; he would even have been content not to
move again, and he found a certain charm in fancying that his night
vigil would last through eternity.
Suddenly the streak of light was gone. This extremely simple event was
to him an unforeseen catastrophe, at once troublesome and disagreeable.
Evidently they had just put the lamp out and were going to sleep. It
was reasonable enough at that hour, but he was irritated thereat, for
now the darkened window ceased to interest him. He watched it for a
quarter of an hour longer and then grew tired and, leaving the doorway,
took a turn upon the pavement. Until five o’clock he walked to and fro,
looking upward from time to time. The window seemed a dead thing, and
now and then he asked himself if he had not dreamed that shadows had
been dancing up there behind the panes. An intolerable sense of fatigue
weighed him down, a dull, heavy feeling, under the influence of which
he forgot what he was waiting for at that particular street corner. He
kept stumbling on the pavement and starting into wakefulness with the
icy shudder of a man who does not know where he is. Nothing seemed to
justify the painful anxiety he was inflicting on himself. Since those
people were asleep—well then, let them sleep! What good could it do
mixing in their affairs? It was very dark; no one would ever know
anything about this night’s doings. And with that every sentiment
within him, down to curiosity itself, took flight before the longing to
have done with it all and to find relief somewhere. The cold was
increasing, and the street was becoming insufferable. Twice he walked
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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