France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories
Then he thought of God. The sudden idea of divine help, of superhuman
consolation, surprised him, as though it were something unforeseen and
extraordinary. The image of M. Venot was evoked thereby, and he saw his
little plump face and ruined teeth. Assuredly M. Venot, whom for months
he had been avoiding and thereby rendering miserable, would be
delighted were he to go and knock at his door and fall weeping into his
arms. In the old days God had been always so merciful toward him. At
the least sorrow, the slightest obstacle on the path of life, he had
been wont to enter a church, where, kneeling down, he would humble his
littleness in the presence of Omnipotence. And he had been used to go
forth thence, fortified by prayer, fully prepared to give up the good
things of this world, possessed by the single yearning for eternal
salvation. But at present he only practiced by fits and starts, when
the terror of hell came upon him. All kinds of weak inclinations had
overcome him, and the thought of Nana disturbed his devotions. And now
the thought of God astonished him. Why had he not thought of God
before, in the hour of that terrible agony when his feeble humanity was
breaking up in ruin?
Meanwhile with slow and painful steps he sought for a church. But he
had lost his bearings; the early hour had changed the face of the
streets. Soon, however, as he turned the corner of the Rue de la
Chaussée-d’Antin, he noticed a tower looming vaguely in the fog at the
end of the Trinite Church. The white statues overlooking the bare
garden seemed like so many chilly Venuses among the yellow foliage of a
park. Under the porch he stood and panted a little, for the ascent of
the wide steps had tired him. Then he went in. The church was very
cold, for its heating apparatus had been fireless since the previous
evening, and its lofty, vaulted aisles were full of a fine damp vapor
which had come filtering through the windows. The aisles were deep in
shadow; not a soul was in the church, and the only sound audible amid
the unlovely darkness was that made by the old shoes of some verger or
other who was dragging himself about in sulky semiwakefulness. Muffat,
however, after knocking forlornly against an untidy collection of
chairs, sank on his knees with bursting heart and propped himself
against the rails in front of a little chapel close by a font. He
clasped his hands and began searching within himself for suitable
prayers, while his whole being yearned toward a transport. But only his
lips kept stammering empty words; his heart and brain were far away,
and with them he returned to the outer world and began his long,
unresting march through the streets, as though lashed forward by
implacable necessity. And he kept repeating, “O my God, come to my
assistance! O my God, abandon not Thy creature, who delivers himself up
to Thy justice! O my God, I adore Thee: Thou wilt not leave me to
perish under the buffetings of mine enemies!” Nothing answered: the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account