Private Smith (late Shinio, the popular juggler) appreciably lowers the protective value of his section's shrapnel helmets by practising his celebrated plate and basin spinning act.] [Illustration: Those ---- Mouth-Organs. "Keep away from the 'ive, Bert; 'e's goin' to sting yer!"] [Illustration: Garcong! the bill, tres vite! That Provost-Marshal Feeling. A sensation only to be had at a Base--in other words, a base sensation.] [Illustration: Blighty!] [Illustration: Those Raiders at the Seat of War. "I wish the 'ell you'd put a cork on that blinkin' pin of yours, Bert!"] [Illustration: Romance, 1917. "Darling, every potato that I have is yours" (engaged).] [Illustration: Modern Topography. "Well, you see, here's the church and there's the post-office."] [Illustration: "There Was a Young Man of Cologne." (I've forgotten the rest of the poem, but it's something about "a bomb" and "If only he'd known.")] [Illustration: In the Support Trench. Old Bill has practically decided to get Private Shinio (the ex-comedy-juggler and hand-balancer) transferred to another platoon.] [Illustration: It's the Little Things that Worry. What is so particularly annoying to Private Lovebird is, that he would not have had this bother with his dug-out if his leave had not been postponed.] [Illustration: That Periscope Sensation. "I wonder if I oughtn't to tell the captain about that thing sticking up in the sea over there."] [Illustration: At the Brewery Baths. "You chuck another sardine at me, my lad, and you'll hear from my solicitors."] [Illustration: A Miner Success. "They must 'ave 'ad some good news or somethin', Alf; you can 'ear 'em cheerin' quite plain."] [Illustration: Birds of Ill Omen. "There's evidently goin' to be an offensive around 'ere, Bert."] [Illustration: If Only They'd Make "Old Bill" President of Those Tribunals. "Well, what's your job, me lad?" "Making spots for rocking-horses, sir." "Three months." "Exemption, sir?" "Nao, exemption be ----d! Three months' hard!"] [Illustration: "Stars is funny things aint they Bill" "Yes--funny!" The Stargazers. --and their return to earth.] [Illustration: Down at the Ration Dump. "Call me a Tank again, my lad, and I'll knock yer ---- 'ead off!"] [Illustration: The Glorious Fifth. "'Ere, Guy Fawkes--buzz off!"] [Illustration: "Yes, you are, one pound nineteen and elevenpence overdrawn, and that includes next month's pay" Cox's. When one feels rather in favour of floating a War Loan of one's own.] [Illustration: This Muddy War. "These 'ere staff cars do splash a lot, don't they, Bill?" (No answer.)] [Illustration: Unappetising. Moments when the Savoy, the Alhambra, and the Piccadilly Grill seem very far away (the offensive starts in half an hour).] [Illustration: Fred's got leave! That Leave Train Second lieutenant Enoch Arden arrives on leave Fred! "The train was a bit late darling" That "Leave" Train.]