'It makes me look silly, her rejected suitor showing more solicitude
than I do--unless it makes him look silly; I rather feel it's that way.
But, apart from that, about Althea, I'm really bothered. It's all right,
of course; I've brought her round. I laughed at her a little and teased
her a little, and told her not to be a dear little goose, you know. But,
Helen, deuce take it! the trouble is----' Again Gerald turned and kicked
the log, and then, his hands on the mantelpiece, he gazed with frowning
intentness into the flames. 'She takes it all so much more seriously
than I do,' so he finally brought out his distress; 'so much more
seriously than I can, you know. It's all right, of course; only one
doesn't know quite how to get on.' And now, turning to Helen, he found
her eyes on his, and her silence became significant to him. There was no
response in her eyes; they were veiled, mute; they observed him; they
told him nothing. And he had a sense, new to him and quite inexpressibly
painful, of being shut out. 'I may go on talking to you--about
everything--as I have always done, Helen?' he said. It was hardly a
question; he couldn't really dream that there was anything not to be
talked out with Helen. But there was. Gerald received one of the ugliest
shocks of his life when Helen said to him in her careful voice: 'You
may not talk about Althea to me; not about her feeling for you--or yours
for her.'
There was a pause after this, and then Gerald got out: 'I say--Helen!'
on a long breath, staring at her. 'You mean----' he stammered a little.
'That you owe it to Althea--just because we had to talk her over once,
before you were sure that you wanted to make her your wife--not to
discuss her feelings or her relation to you with anybody, now that she
is to be your wife. I should think you would see that for yourself,
Gerald. I should think you would see that Althea would not marry you if
she thought that you were capable of talking her over with me.'
Gerald had flushed deeply and vividly. 'But Helen--with _you_!' he
murmured. It was a helpless appeal, a helpless protest. His whole life
seemed to rise up and confront her with the contrast between their
reality--his relation and hers--and the relative triviality of this new
episode in his life. And there was his error, and there her inexorable
opposition; the episode was one no longer; he must not treat it as
trivial, a matter for mutual musings and conjectures. His 'With you!'
shook Helen's heart; but, looking past him and hard at the fire, she
only moved her head in slow, slight, and final negation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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