Gerald was standing before the fire, and in looking at him, as she
entered and closed the door, she was aware of a little sense of
surprise. She had not expected to find him, since the crash of Aunt
Grizel's revelations, as fatuous as the day before yesterday; nor had
she expected the boyish sulkiness of that day's earlier mood. She
expected change and the signs of discomfort and distress. It was this
haggard brightness for which she was unprepared. He looked as if he
hadn't slept or eaten, and under jaded eyelids his eyes had the
sparkling fever of insomnia.
Helen felt that she could thoroughly carry out the first of Franklin's
requests; she could be kind and she could be sorry; yes, Gerald was very
unhappy; it was strange to think of, and pitiful.
'Have you had any tea?' she asked him, giving him her hand, which he
pressed mechanically.
'No, thanks,' said Gerald.
'Do have some. You look hungry.'
'I'm not hungry, thanks.' He was neither hostile nor pleading; he only
kept his eyes fixed on her with bright watchfulness, rather as a
patient's eyes watch the doctor who is to pronounce a verdict, and
Helen, with all her kindness, felt a little irked and ill at ease before
his gaze.
'You've heard from Kane?' Gerald said, after a pause. Helen had taken
her usual place in the low chair.
'Yes, this morning.'
'And that's why you sent for me?'
'Yes,' said Helen, 'he asked me to.'
Gerald looked down into the fire. 'I can't tell you what I think of him.
You can't care to hear, of course. You know what I've done to him, and
that must make you feel that I'm not the person to talk about him. But
I've never met any one so good.'
'He is good. I'm glad to hear you say it. He is the best person I've
ever met, too,' said Helen. 'As for what you did to him, you didn't know
what you were doing.'
'I don't think that stupidity is any excuse. I ought to have felt he
couldn't be near you like that, and not love you. I robbed him of you,
didn't I? If it hadn't been for what I did, you would have married him,
all the same--in spite of what you told me, I mean.'
Helen had coloured a little, and after a pause in which she thought over
his words she said: 'Yes, of course I would have married him all the
same. But it was really I, in what I told you, who brought it upon
myself and upon Franklin.'
For a little while there was silence and then Gerald said, delicately,
yet with a directness that showed he took for granted in her a detached
candour equal to his own: 'I think I asked it stupidly. I suppose the
thing I can't even yet realise is that, in a way, I robbed you too. I've
robbed you of everything, haven't I, Helen?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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