She was that peculiarly civilised being, the American woman of
independent means and discriminating tastes, whose cosmopolitan studies
and acquaintances give, in their multiplicity, the impression of a full,
if not a completed, life. But to-day the gloomy question hovered: was
not the very pilgrimage to Bayreuth, the study of archaeology in Rome,
and of pictures in Florence, of much the same nature as the yearly visit
to Paris for clothes? What was attained by it all? Was it not something
merely superficial, to be put on and worn, as it were, not to be lived
for with a growing satisfaction? Miss Jakes did not answer this
question; she dismissed it with some indignation, and she got up and
rang rather sharply for tea, which was late; and after asking the
garcon, with a smile that in its gentleness contrasted with the
sharpness of the pull, that it might be brought at once, she paused near
the table to lean over and smell her sheaf of roses, and to read again,
listlessly, Miss Harriet Robinson's words of affectionate greeting. Miss
Robinson was a middle-aged American lady who lived in Paris, and had
long urged Althea to settle there near her. Ten years ago, when she had
first met Miss Robinson in Boston, Althea had thought her a brilliant
and significant figure; but she had by now met too many of her kind--in
Rome, in Florence, in Dresden--to feel any wish for a more intimate
relationship. She was fond of Miss Robinson, but she prayed that fate
did not reserve for her a withering to the like brisk, colourless
spinsterhood. This hope, the necessity for such hope, was the final
depth of her gloomy mood, and she found herself looking at something
very dark as she stood holding Miss Robinson's expensive roses. For,
after all, what was going to become of her? The final depth shaped
itself to-day in more grimly realistic fashion than ever before: what
was she going to do with herself, in the last resort, unless something
happened? Her mind dwelt upon all the visible alternatives. There was
philanthropic lunch-going and lunch-giving spinsterhood in Boston; there
was spinsterhood in Europe, semi-social, semi-intellectual, and
monotonous in its very variety, for Althea had come to feel change as
monotonous; or there was spinsterhood in England established near her
friend, Miss Buckston, who raised poultry in the country, and went up to
London for Bach choir practices and Woman's Suffrage meetings. Althea
couldn't see herself as taking an interest in poultry or in Woman's
Suffrage, nor did she feel herself fitted for patriotic duties in
Boston. There was nothing for it, then, but to continue her present
nomadic life. After seeing herself shut in to this conclusion, it was a
real relief to her to hear the tea-tray chink outside, and to see it
enter, high on the garcon's shoulder, as if with a trivial but cheerful
reply to her dreary questionings. Tea, at all events, would always
happen and always be pleasant. Althea smiled sadly as she made the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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