knew an interminable array of them, many involved in enlivening
complications, yet Helen never gossiped; the musing impersonality and
impartiality with which she commented and surmised lifted her themes to
a realm almost of art; she was pungent, yet never malicious, and the
tolerant lucidity of her insight was almost benign.
Her narrow face, leaning back in its dark aureole of hair, her strange
eyes and bitter-sweet lips--all dimmed, as it were, by drowsiness and
smoke, and yet never more intelligently awake than at these nocturnal
hours--remained with him as most typical of Helen's most significant and
charming self. It was her aspect of mystery and that faint hint of
bitterness that he found so charming; Helen herself he never thought of
as mysterious. Mystery was a mere outward asset of her beauty, like the
powdery surface of a moth's wing. He didn't think of Helen as
mysterious, perhaps because he thought little about her at all; he only
looked and listened while she made him think about everything but
herself, and he felt always happy and altogether at ease in her
presence. There seemed, indeed, no reason for thinking about a person
whom one had known all one's life long.
And Helen was more than the best of company and the loveliest of
objects; she was at once comrade and counsellor. He depended upon her
more than upon any one. Comically helpless as he often found himself, he
asked her advice about everything, and always received the wisest.
He had had often, though not so much in late years, to ask her advice
about girls, for in spite of his financial ineligibility he was so
engaging a person that he found himself continually drawn to the verge
of decisive flirtations. His was rarely the initiative; he was
responsive and affectionate and not at all susceptible, and Helen, who
knew girls of her world to the bone, could accurately gauge the effect
upon him of the pleading coquetry at which they were such adepts. She
could gauge them the better, no doubt, from having herself no trace of
coquetry. Men often liked her, but often found her cold and cynical, and
even suspected her of conceit, especially since it was known that she
had refused many excellent opportunities for establishing herself in
life. She was also suspected by many of abysmal cleverness, and this
reputation frightened admiring but uncomplicated young men more than
anything else. Now, when her first youth was past, men more seldom fell
in love with her and more frequently liked her; they had had time to
find out that if she were cold she was also very kind, and that if
abysmally clever, she could adapt her cleverness to pleasant, trivial
uses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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