Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
They always began talking about the opera, or the play, or the latest
sensation in society, or some new singer or dancer or poet, and
Marjorie, being new to this atmosphere and knowing so little of it,
was compelled to confess that she did not know. It chagrined, dazed,
and frightened her for a time. She longed to be able to grasp quickly
and learn what this was all about. She wondered where she had been
living--how--to have missed all this. Why, goodness gracious, these
things were enough to wreck her married life! Duer would think so
poorly of her--how could he help it? She watched these girls and women
talking to him, and by turns, while imitating them as best she could,
became envious, fearful, regretful, angry; charging, first, herself
with unfitness; next, Duer with neglect; next, these people with
insincerity, immorality, vanity; and lastly, the whole world and life
with a conspiracy to cheat her out of what was rightfully her own. Why
wouldn’t these people be nice to her? Why didn’t they give of their
time and patience to make her comfortable and at home--as freely, say,
as they did to him? Wasn’t she his wife, now? Why did Duer neglect
her? Why did they hang on his words in their eager, seductive, alluring
way? She hated them and, at moments, she hated him, only to be struck
by a terrifying wave of remorse and fear a moment later. What if he
should grow tired of her? What if his love should change? He had seemed
so enamored of her only a little while before they were married,
so taken by what he called her naturalness, grace, simplicity and
emotional pull.
On one of these occasions, or rather after it, when they had returned
from an evening at Francis Hatton’s at which she felt that she had
been neglected, she threw herself disconsolately into Duer’s arms and
exclaimed:
“What’s the matter with me, Duer? Why am I so dull--so
uninteresting--so worthless?”
The sound of her voice was pathetic, helpless, vibrant with the quality
of an unuttered sob, a quality which had appealed to him intensely long
before they were married, and now he stirred nervously.
“Why, what’s the matter with you now, Margie?” he asked
sympathetically, sure that a new storm of some sort was coming. “What’s
come over you? There’s nothing the matter with you. Why do you ask?
Who’s been saying there is?”
“Oh, nothing, nothing--nobody! Everybody! Everything!” exclaimed
Marjorie dramatically, and bursting into tears. “I see how it is. I see
what is the matter with me. Oh! Oh! It’s because I don’t know anything,
I suppose. It’s because I’m not fit to associate with you. It’s because
I haven’t had the training that some people have had. It’s because I’m
dull! Oh! Oh!” and a torrent of heart-breaking sobs which shook her
frame from head to toe followed the outburst and declamation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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