The story requireth that we relate that which happened unto six
pilgrims, who came from Sebastian near to Nantes; and who, for shelter
that night, being afraid of the enemy, had hid themselves in the
garden upon the chickling peas, among the cabbages and lettuces.
Gargantua, finding himself somewhat dry, asked whether they could get
any lettuce to make him a sallad; and, hearing that there were the
greatest and fairest in the country--for they were as great as plum
trees, or as walnut trees--he would go thither himself, and brought
thence in his hand what he thought good, and withal carried away the
six pilgrims, who were in so great fear that they did not dare to
speak nor cough. Washing them, therefore, first at the fountain, the
pilgrims said one to another, softly, "What shall we do? We are almost
drowned here amongst these lettuce: shall we speak? But if we speak,
he will kill us for spies." And, as they were thus deliberating what
to do, Gargantua put them, with the lettuce, into a platter of the
house, as large as the huge tun of the White Friars of the Cistercian
order; which done, with oil, vinegar, and salt, he ate them up to
refresh himself a little before supper, and had already swallowed up
five of the pilgrims, the sixth being in the platter, totally hid
under a lettuce, except his bourdon, or staff, that appeared, and
nothing else. Which Grangousier [Gargantua's father] seeing, said to
Gargantua, "I think that is the horn of a shell snail: do not eat it."
"Why not?" said Gargantua; "they are good all this month:" which he no
sooner said, but, drawing up the staff, and therewith taking up the
pilgrim, he ate him very well, then drank a terrible draught of
excellent white wine. The pilgrims, thus devoured, made shift to save
themselves, as well as they could, by drawing their bodies out of the
reach of the grinders of his teeth, but could not escape from thinking
they had been put in the lowest dungeon of a prison. And, when
Gargantua whiffed the great draught, they thought to have drowned in
his mouth, and the flood of wine had almost carried them away into
the gulf of his stomach. Nevertheless, skipping with their bourdons,
as St. Michael's palmers used to do, they sheltered themselves from
the danger of that inundation under the banks of his teeth. But one of
them, by chance, groping, or sounding the country with his staff, to
try whether they were in safety or no, struck hard against the cleft
of a hollow tooth, and hit the mandibulary sinew or nerve of the jaw,
which put Gargantua to very great pain, so that he began to cry for
the rage that he felt. To ease himself, therefore, of his smarting
ache, he called for his tooth-picker, and, rubbing towards a young
walnut-tree, where they lay skulking, unnestled you, my gentleman
pilgrims. For he caught one by the legs, another by the scrip, another
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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